Weep In Sackcloth and Ashes...

Always Ready

2011-06-02T16:24:00.012-05:00

In Peter's first epistle to the Christians of the diaspera, he wrote these words, (along with the rest of that epistle and his second epistle), to encourage them in the faith:
"14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil", (1 Peter 3:14-17, emphasis mine).

In the summer of 2007 a number of events led to some very drastic changes in my life, (to read the story in entirety, see Part I and Part II). Almost immediately, I became a biblical apologist overnight. For those of you who don't know, the word, 'apologetics', comes from the Greek word 'apologia', which means, "to give a defense", so to give an apologetic for something, is to give a sound argument for your position. The phrase, "know what you believe, and why you believe it", became a phrase that was one of my greatest passions to not only know for myself, but also to teach others what I have learned and studied. In the summer of 2007, essentially, I threw out the window nearly everything I'd been taught since I was converted at 16, and begged God to, "open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law", (Psalm 119:18), to, "give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart", (Psalm 119:34), and, "Your hands have made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn your commandments", (Psalm 119:73). By the grace of God, and the Holy Spirit giving me understanding of the Scriptures exegetically (exegesis means, "a critical interpretation or explication, especially of biblical and other religious texts", in other words, allowing the text to speak for itself and not reading into it one's own interpretation, nor isolating a particular portion of Scripture, but critically looking at it on a whole and in the proper context), I began to piece things together, and the more I had discussions with those much more learned in the faith than I, the clearer things became. It was last July, in which I formally took upon myself the title of 'reformed Christian', after I finally came to a decided position on the teaching of the sacrament of baptism as the Scriptures teach; as an aside, it was over a two-year period of studying this doctrine that I finally came to a solid position, but that is a story for another day. :)

Last year at some point I came across what is often interchangeably called, 'reformed apologetics/VanTillian apologetics/presuppositionalism'. It totally changed my views on how to go about defending historical orthodox Christianity. For those of you who are interested, I'd HIGHLY recommend that you listen to, 'The Great Debate: Does God Exist?', between Dr. Greg Bahnsen (PhD. in philosophy and Masters in Divinity) and Dr. Stein (PhD in philosophy), which took place at the University of California, Irvine, 1985. The audio leaves something to be desired, so I would strongly recommend that you follow along using the transcript.

Click here for audio.
Click here for transcripts.

For more information about reformed apologetics/VanTillian apologetics/presuppositionalism, I'd encourage you to visit the following website: http://veritasdomain.wordpress.com/2006/12/05/greg-bahnsen-vs-gordon-stein-the-great-debate/

Hope you enjoy and are edified!

Grace and Peace,
Alison

“If Only...” Living with Regrets

2011-05-27T20:04:00.007-05:00

It has been many months since I've posted anything on my blog; now with the semester over and my CNA class nearly done, I have a bit more time on my hands to work on those things that got left on the wayside in all the busyness of school.

This past December (lasting through February), in God's gracious providence, He brought about one of the most trying and difficult times of my life. The clouds of depression, loneliness, and regret swept over me gradually, eventually culminating in one of the most trying times of my adult life. Had it not been for the grace of God keeping me in the Beloved (Christ) and firmly grounded in sound doctrine and theology, I am certain that I would have been shipwrecked.

"As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me; your steadfast love and your faithfulness will ever preserve me!" Psalm 40:11 (ESV).

I wanted to share an article that my pastor told me about that was extremely helpful to me during my season of darkness. It was definitely a means by which God used to begin to address and root out some of the things in my life that had been festering beneath the surface for quite some time. Through the months of darkness, God instilled in me a greater trust in the simple truth of the gospel, His complete sovereignty, and that He truly does work all things together for my good and His glory (Romans 8:28, paraphrased). Praise be to God for His abundant grace!

Here is the article, written by Ed Welch entitled, "“If Only...” Living with Regrets". To read this article from the original source, click here.

My prayer is that this article would be as much, or more so, of a blessing and help to you as it was to me.

Grace and Peace be unto you,
Alison

“If Only . . .” Living with Regrets
By: Ed Welch

It feels so right – so spiritual – to live with regrets. It means you feel bad for the wrong things you have done or think you have done, and that sounds like a good thing. If you forget those wrongs, you are acting like they were no big deal.

How many “if only’s” do you have in your life?

If you have a scrupulous conscience, you lost count long ago. For the rest of us, there are a few basic categories of regrets.

1. Things you did that were especially shameful, which means that they became public and the public did not approve of them. Perhaps you failed in school or work, had legal problems, or did something immoral.
2. Things you did that either purposefully or (more often) unintentionally hurt someone else. Car accidents, sexually transmitted diseases, poor parenting of a wayward child, and recklessness while intoxicated make this list. “If only I had left 5 minutes later I wouldn’t have hit that person.” “If only I hadn’t gone to that party…etc.”
3. Things you think you could have done to avoid a catastrophe. If you have a specific moment when the course of your life took an irreparable turn for the worse, then you will be able to think of dozens of things you could have done differently. Bad marriage? You will review the list of old marital prospects and wonder why you didn’t pursue them. Most anyone who has known someone who committed suicide will be afflicted with regrets. “If only I had just called.” Most women who have been sexually violated ruminate, “If only I . . . (yelled, trusted my instincts that something was wrong, went with my friends).

I knew a woman who was so filled with regrets that the burden of them felt normal. The first “if only’s” registered as weights on her soul, but it’s like wearing ten-pound ankle and wrist weights all the time, after a while you no longer notice them. You feel sluggish and tired all the time, and everyone else seems to be going at a different emotional tempo, but, somehow, that’s normal.

Here is the paradox.

We live with regrets because we think we should. We think it’s the right thing to do—that it is our duty before God. But…

The Kingdom of Heaven is regret-free. The truth is that the triune God liberates us from past regrets. His will is being done. Bank on it. Neither your human limitations nor your sins hinder the good plans of your sovereign Father.

Let’s go one important step further. It is God’s will that you jettison past regrets. They only make you feel unqualified and, therefore, unfruitful.

Now to the line up. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, David, Jonah, Peter and Paul, to start. They all had good reason to have a bad case of the “if only’s”. King David is the most severe example. His sin with Bathsheba resulted in the death of their son and his conspiracy to cover up the adultery caused the death of her husband. (2 Sam.12) Even worse, his sin of numbering the people led to the death of 70,000 Israelite men (2 Sam. 24). His remorse was great, and his repentance sincere, but you won’t find lingering regret. In its place is doxology to the Lord who freely forgives sins.

Consider Jonah. He was an enigmatic character whose flight from the Lord nearly resulted in the death of an entire crew and did result in his being swallowed by a fish. A belly of a fish is an ideal place for regrets, especially when you know you brought it on yourself – “if only I would have just gone to Nineveh” – but instead it became a holy place where Jonah came to his senses and proclaimed, “Salvation is of the Lord.”

Regrets? What about Paul? He watched approvingly as Stephen was stoned to death. (Acts 7:59-8:1) He zealously hunted down Christians, sent them to prison and approved of it when they were put to death (Acts 26:9-11). Yet, after his conversion, though he clearly disapproves of these acts, he does not dwell on past sins, rather he writes: “But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14) The irony is that Paul isn't even talking about his sins, because he is so confident that his Lord is in control and his sins are completely forgiven. He is talking about the "good" things on his resume.

But, in the post-resurrection era, it is Peter who is our mentor in handling regrets. After all, he knew Jesus from the beginning, and assumed that his egregious sin of denying that on the night of Jesus’ arrest demoted him back to the rank of fisherman. Not that there is anything wrong with fishing, but Jesus had changed Peter’s vocation to fishing for people (Matt.4:19), and, for Peter, regular fishing signaled his own conviction that his sins disqualified him from Kingdom service. Peter assumed that his calling was no longer valid. But breakfast with Jesus and a walk on the beach changed everything. (More on this in the blog, “The World’s Best Epilogue— Ever”).

Try to find a hint of regret or “if only’s” in his two letters. Instead, following King David’s lead, Peter opens with perhaps the most spectacular and eloquent statement of hope in the New Testament, which ends with this exhortation: “Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:13). He is reminding us that life in Christ rests in what Jesus has done and looks forward to what he will do. We are visionaries. We look ahead. We hope. We aim to be drawn by the beauty that is almost within reach rather than be restrained by the regrets of the past.

Hearing anything here? Hope rising? If not, you believe that the Kingdom of Christ is where you pay for past sins, past indiscretions, or just being a human being who isn’t omniscient and omnipresent. You believe that if you store up enough regret and remorse you can finally sneak out of your self-imposed purgatory – though, as you already know, no matter how much you stockpile the stuff you always feel as though you must add a little more. That is not the Kingdom where Jesus reigns.

Maybe you believe your regrets will be your protective talisman to help make sure you don’t repeat past sins. That makes sense and sounds spiritual, but it’s a false gospel. It is the sweet mercies of God that compel us to fight sin. One way to identify the nefarious nature of regrets is that they do not give mercy the prominent seat at the table. These regrets might be so stubborn that they will only leave through repentance. While you have been repenting of your perceived contribution to past regrets, the real reason to repent is much closer to the present: you are saying, “Lord I don’t believe that you cover my past, though you probably cover the pasts of other people, and I certainly don’t believe that confidence in your goodness and hope for tomorrow is even permissible.” Call it unbelief. If you want to get nasty, call it pride, in which you believe yourself rather than the Lord. Either way, repent.

I have my own regrets—you have yours. God’s mercies are stockpiled even higher.

Ed Welch is a counselor and faculty member at CCEF.

Was Dr. King Nice?

2011-01-18T10:39:00.004-06:00

I read an article this morning written by R. Scott Clark about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., one of my childhood heroes. I was greatly encouraged by it and thought you may be too, so I have posted it here for you to read if you are so inclined, but I would highly encourage you to do so. To view the original post, click here.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Was Dr King Nice?
Posted on January 17, 2011 by R. Scott Clark

Before I encountered evangelical Christianity I had an opportunity to learn a little about African-American history. I’m not sure why, as a middle-class white kid, I was attracted to it, maybe because no one else was? Maybe it was the underdog aspect of the larger narrative (an oppressed people overcomes enormous hardship)? Maybe it was my setting? More on that below. Whatever the attraction, the Rev Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. is one of the central figures of modern American history. I had not yet turned 7 when he was assassinated in Memphis but I recall clearly that my home town was torn apart by riots, which had to be quelled by the national guard. Racial tension was a fact of life. In the mid-70s the courts instituted busing to try to integrate Omaha Public Schools.

It’s not 1968. Americans have come a great distance since then but we have some ways to go. White folk are more optimistic about how far we’ve come than African Americans. We probably haven’t made as much progress on what used to be called “the race question” as most white folk think.

When it was instituted, the King Holiday was not terribly popular. It is still resented in some circles. The lingering resentment over the holiday is a pale reflection of reaction to Dr King, especially by white folks, during his life. Given Dr King’s heroic status today one might think that everyone adored Dr King and grieved when he was murdered. It’s not true. A great lot, probably a majority, of white folk in America regarded King as a rabble rouser who was stirring up trouble unnecessarily. In the midwest, where I was raised, he was not widely regarded as a “nice black man.” In that context “nice” was code for “knows his place” and “doesn’t speak up.” It wasn’t that King wasn’t polite or even that he was violent but he made people uncomfortable, he challenged the status quo, he did not accept that African-Americans couldn’t participate in society; he didn’t accept “separate but equal” because he knew that separate wasn’t equal.

Evangelical and Reformed folk can learn from Martin Luther King Jr. Evangelicals, whole mostly come from the pietist tradition, many of whom emigrated to North America from Northern European countries, who settled originally in the midwest, who lived in small communities and who developed an ethos of “niceness” (getting along) in that setting, routinely confuse “niceness” with Christianity. Few of the outstanding figures in Holy Scripture would qualify as “nice” by midwestern, pietist standards. To be sure, those biblical figures, as they are mediated in and to pietist congregations, often become as homogenized as the milk handed out in Sunday School, whether in children’s Bible stories or flannel graphs. The prophet Joel and the book of James don’t feature prominently in pietist piety because they just don’t fit the mold. Nevertheless, there they are in the canon of Holy Scripture and neither of them was “nice.” Indeed, none of the prophets were “nice. Being “nice,” getting along, doesn’t get one thrown into a cistern. It doesn’t get one’s head cut off. John the Baptist wasn’t nice at all, was he?

With all his sins and flaws, there were echoes of the prophets in King’s rhetoric. He called a nation to repentance. He was, in his own law, a relentless preacher of the law. America is not the Israel of God, it is not the church, and one might well think that King should have resigned his ministerial office in order to pursue his social-cultural-political agenda, but King made the white majority uncomfortable and he did so pointedly, intentionally, and consistently. Toward the end of his career he was helping to organize a “poor people’s campaign.” That aspect of the movement would likely have split the civil rights movement between the economic progressives and the stricter constitutionalists. Whatever one makes of King it was not possible to ignore him then (or now). Had he accepted the prevailing ethos of (pietist) American evangelicals, would anyone have known about King? Would there be a King holiday? Would the Civil Rights Act (with all its flaws) have come into existence? Probably not. Evangelicals talk a great deal about exercising “influence” but that desire is almost certainly at odds with the ethos of “niceness.”

Reformed folk can also learn from King. We are far too concerned about “getting along,” about being popular, with being accepted by the largely baptistic, pietistic, evangelical majority in North America. We’re the sweaty, pimply-faced boy in the corner, at the dance, with the bad hair, the ill-fitting trousers, trying to work up the courage to ask one of the popular girls to dance. We’re just a little too eager. What we need is not wardrobe makeover and grooming tips (however useful those things might be). What we need is courage and King had courage. There’s little question that King knew that his life was in jeopardy. He could have lived quietly and been quiet successful. He was not quiet. He spoke up. He acted on his convictions. He shocked the majority. He challenged the status quo. He challenged widely accepted premises, even at the cost of his own life.

We, who confess the Reformed faith, who seek to articulate and live out a Reformed piety and practice, don’t need to try to look or sound or act like our pietist cousins. We can respect their tradition for what it was but just as King (and others) demonstrated a resolute willingness to accept disapproval in the interests of a greater cause we must be willing to be what we are, even if it brings the disapproval of the pietist majority.

Niceness is a cultural phenomenon not a virtue. It’s also a temptation. Dr King faced many temptations but he pursued his course in spite of them. For a quarter century Americans have set aside a day to remember him, not because he was nice, but because he called a nation to be true to its constitution and ideals. Reformed Christians are also tempted to niceness and temporary popularity. Don’t do it. Our long-term value to American Christianity does not lie in niceness but in the heroic struggle to articulate and live the faith we confess, even when it brings us into conflict with the prevailing ethos.

"Strive to Enter the Sabbath Rest"

2011-01-02T12:52:00.004-06:00

This morning my pastor, Rev. John Hartley, preached a phenomenal and insightful sermon on the True Sabbath. He faithfully exegeted Hebrews 4:1-11, his sermon title is the title of this blog entry, click here to listen.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Top Ten Picks

2010-12-29T15:00:00.011-06:00

It's not a secret that I'm a big fan of music; all sorts of genres. When it comes to lyrical content and musical style, I am quite picky and have a very specific taste. I wanted to share what I've called, my 'Top 10 Picks', however, this is only the Top 10 Picks of music that is free of charge. Hope you enjoy and are edified!

-Alison

1. 'Jesus, Lover of My Soul' by: Reformed Praise. Click the 'basic/raw demo' version.
2. 'Heidelberg Catechism' by: Voice, to view lyrics, scroll further down given page.
3. 'Behold the Lamb' by: Christ Our Life
4. 'Called Beauty' by: Jenny & Tyler. Click 'View A-Z', find and click on 'Jenny & Tyler Winter 2010-2011 Sampler'. Enter your email address and zip code, and a link will be emailed to you where to download the entire album at. I love this song because it is based upon Ezekiel 16, a passage very near and dear to my heart.
5. 'The Purchased Possession' by: SALOS (Joshua Klein)
6. 'Betrothed to Jesus' by: Abraham Juliot. This song is a bit more tricky to find for free download. Click here, scroll down and on the right-hand side, there is a playlist. Select the song 'Betrothed to Jesus', and then click on 'MP3' to download the song. **Note: While I do enjoy Abraham's music, I do not hold to some of the things he believes doctrinally or theologically; I only state this because this is a link to his blog, otherwise I would've remained silent on the issue; he still remains a dearly beloved brother in Christ.
7. 'Go To Jesus' by: Erin Alderson
8. 'By Grace Alone' by: Reformed Praise, click on the 'basic raw/demo' version.
9. 'O the Grace that Saves' by: Christ Our Life
10. 'Creator of the Stars of Night' by: High Street Hymns. Click 'View A-Z', find and click on 'High Street Hymns Christmas & Advent'. Enter your email address and zip code, and a link will be emailed to you where to download the entire album at.

When Grace Writes the Script

2010-12-12T11:52:00.003-06:00

Due to the blizzard we experienced here in the Fox Valley yesterday and into the wee hours of the morning, this Lord's Day service was canceled at my church. My pastor, John Hartley, sent us a devotional that he had written and I found it to be very encouraging and hoped you would be encouraged by it too.

-Alison

When Grace Writes the Script
By: Pastor John Hartley
Apple Valley Church

One of the scripts that plays every day in our minds is the script titled, "I Don't Deserve This." You are familiar with this script. It plays in your mind. It will play today.

When your wife fails to appreciate your efforts in providing financially for her, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this." When your husband fails to attend to your needs with sincerity of heart, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this." When your employer fails to acknowledge your value and contribution to the company, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this." When your children disrespect your place as parent and regard your godly wisdom as foolishness, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this." Teens, when your parents exasperate you with suspicious questioning and disengaged busyness, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this." Christian, when your neighbors mock you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Jesus, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this." When the world crashes down around you with financial scandals and war and catastrophe, you hear in your mind: "I don't deserve this!"

The script, of course, is wrong. It is not speaking the truth of God to you. The truth is you deserve much worse.

The truth is that as disobedient sinners and as transgressors of the law and as vandals of shalom and as defamers of glory we deserve much worse. The truth is that the troubles and trials of our lives should be multiplied by ten-thousand and remain upon us forever and ever. That would be hell. Every mortal one of us has fallen short of God's glory and every mortal one of us deserves not only to slip and fall into hell but to be deliberately sent there and kept there by God himself as a just expression of His wrath. "I don't deserve this" is a lie. I deserve much worse is the truth.

But this is also God's truth: because of Jesus you and I won't be receiving what we deserve. This is amazing grace! Because God's Christ has been crucified for sinners, your troubles will not be multiplied by ten-thousand and remain upon you forever and ever. This is grace. All the trouble you rightly deserve from the Most High God fell upon Jesus, God With Us, Emmanuel, the only man who could ever truthfully say, "I don't deserve this."

As the Apostle's Creed rightly says, Jesus descended into hell for you. This is grace. The one man whom God has appointed to judge the world, to give us all what we rightly deserve, he has been made a sacrifice for our sins. This is grace. From the one person that matters, the Redeemer King, from the one person who could give us every last bit of what our evil deserves, we already now are receiving what we do not deserve: adoption as sons, a divine title, and an everlasting inheritance as co-heirs with Christ. This is grace.

Now when this grace grips your heart and mind two significant things begin to happen. First, that loud and frequent lie - "I don't deserve this!" - becomes quiet and sparse. Now that grace is becoming the ground upon which you stand, the so-called "fairness lies" of Satan are more vividly grotesque and you begin to have ears for Jesus when he says, "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." When grace gets underfoot, you're on your way down the path of becoming a merciful person toward all those who sin against you because you know that Jesus has been so radically merciful toward your own steady flow of sin.

The second thing that happens when grace grips your heart is the mental script changes. At first we might think the script changes to, "I do deserve this." But that isn't right either. If we simply write over the old mental script that said, "I don't deserve this!" with "I do deserve this!" then we will begin to think our own suffering pays for our sins. We will think we must silently suffer the sins of our husbands and wives and children and world so we can some how pay off or pay down what we rightly deserve from God as sinners. We will live in shame, believing a new lie that says, "I must let people treat me badly so I can pay for my other sins." But this is not the Gospel. You can't pay for past sins by letting people sin against you. Jesus has paid for your sins once and for all.

When others sin against you, the script of grace isn't, "I don't deserve this!" nor is it, "I do deserve this!" but it is, "Jesus doesn't deserve this!" All sin is against the Lord Jesus. When I begin to truly see this, then I am refreshed again in how kind he has been to me and his kindness keeps me from wanting to add my own sin to the sin of others by being hard-hearted and unforgiving. When I see that it is Jesus who doesn't deserve the sin that is pressing on my life, then I can speak the truth in love to sinners because he spoke the truth in love to me. When the script becomes "Jesus doesn't deserve this!" I begin to transform into the most unnatural kind of person: a person who can't help but speak out against sin and injustice but also a person who can't help but hang in there with the worst of sinners to see them reconciled and renewed by the grace that reconciled and renewed me.

Such care of sinners is how you have been cared for by the Savior. It is care rooted in God’s amazing grace. O how it glorifies him when the redeemed follow the Redeemer!

Grace & peace, John

Please Pray

2010-12-05T14:56:00.003-06:00

Dear Brethren,

I would sincerely ask for your prayers unto our faithful and merciful God on my behalf. This semester I have faced more challenges than I care to recount. Due to extended illness and other life circumstances, this semester has presented me with challenges far greater than I have felt able to bear. I confess that I feel myself beginning to bow down under the weight. Please pray that the Lord would be gracious to me during these last two weeks of finals. I am teetering on the edge in two of my courses between passing, which only adds more stress and anxiety to my already troubled heart. Please pray for strength, endurance, the ability to retain and understand the material being taught, and above all, that the will of the Lord would be done. I am thankful that God causes our prayers to be effective because of our Elder Brother, Jesus, who has gone before us and through His life, death, and resurrection, has given us access to the Father. Thank you for your prayers.

Alison

A Hymn of Encouragement

2010-11-24T23:11:00.005-06:00

This is a hymn that I return to often during different seasons of the soul, and always find my heart cheered. By the grace of God working in me, may He make this the cry of my heart and song of my life.

My God, My Father, Blissful Name

1. My God, my Father, blissful name
Oh may I call Thee mine?
May I with sweet assurance claim
A portion so divine?
This only can my fears control
And bid my sorrows fly;
What harm can ever reach my soul
Beneath my Father’s eye?

2. Whate’er Thy providence denies
I calmly would resign
For Thou art just, and good, and wise
O bend my will to Thine
Whate’er Thy sacred will ordains
O give me strength to bear;
And let me know my Father reigns
And trust His tender care

3. If pain and sickness rend this frame
And life almost depart
Is not Thy mercy still the same
To cheer my drooping heart
If cares and sorrows me surround
Their power why should I fear?
My inward peace they cannot wound
If Thou, my God, art near

To listen to a sample of this song done by 'Indelible Grace,' click here.

Please Pray

2010-11-18T06:00:00.004-06:00

I have my interview at Midwestern University in Downers Grove, IL tomorrow, Friday, November 19th, at 8:45am CT for pharmacy school. This is the last step of the admission process and I would greatly appreciate your prayers. Please pray for: a clear mind, the right words to say, courage, grace, mercy, and favor in the eyes of the admissions board. It will be a group interview and we also have to write a short essay. I don't know how soon we will find out if we are accepted or not, but I will keep you posted. Thanks again for your prayers, and thank you to all of you who have been a source of encouragement and inspiration to me thus far.

Grace and Peace be unto you,
Alison

True Christian Freedom

2010-11-09T16:59:00.005-06:00

What is 'Christian Freedom', and what are the 'freedoms that we have in Christ'? Over the years, I have heard varying definitions and insights into what this means and looks like. I'd encourage you to listen to Pastor Cotta preach from Acts 16:1-5, as he exposites the aforementioned passage and gives the true definition of 'Christian Freedom'.

Grace and Peace be unto you,
Alison

Redeemed

2010-11-07T13:16:00.004-06:00

I wrote this poem yesterday evening, mostly as an exhortation to myself. I e-mailed it to a friend last night, and this morning she encouraged me to post it on my blog for the benefit of others. I pray that you would be encouraged and exhorted thereby.

Grace and Peace be unto you,
Alison

Redeemed
By: Alison Van Lankvelt

Contemplating past regrets
Remembering moments lost, or taken
Pieces of a heart, of a past, of life before today.
Silent moments spent condemning oneself about the past:
Poor decisions, misguided conduct, going too far, not going far enough;
Moments lost, moments stolen.

But, oh my soul!
You have been redeemed!
Nothing is lost!
All has been found!
You carry with you scars from the past,
Yet, you are clothed in His righteousness!
Christ’s merits are merited to YOU!
You stand perfect, clean, before the King.

Lament no more, oh my soul;
Lament no more!
He has turned your mourning into dancing,
Your weeping to rejoicing.
You are covered by His blood-
By the precious blood of Christ

His great grace, which was poured out for many-
Was poured out for YOU.
Let that knowledge be the means for the giving of thanks.
Continue rejoicing in the gospel of grace,
Partake of the means of grace,
And grow thereby in godliness, wisdom, and self-control.
Continue to grow in your love of God and neighbor-
For His Namesake,
Amen.

In Honor of Reformation Day

2010-10-25T21:17:00.004-05:00

Attention those who like Martin Luther! In honor of Reformation Day, October 31st, christianaudio.com is offering a FREE download of 'Martin Luther: In His Own Words' audiobook this month.

It includes:
The Small Catechism
95 Theses
On Faith and Coming to Christ
On Confession and the Lord's Supper
Of the Office of Preaching
Excerpt from Luther's Tower Experience
The Last Written Words of Luther

Download it for free at:
http://christianaudio.com/martin-luther-in-his-own-words-martin-luther?utm_source=christianaudio&utm_campaign=975c9f4d37-Oct_Mid_Month_Site_Launch&utm_medium=email

Happy Reformation Day!

Sola scriptura ("by Scripture alone")
Sola fide ("by faith alone")
Sola gratia ("by grace alone")
Solus Christus or Solo Christo ("Christ alone" or "through Christ alone")
Soli Deo gloria ("glory to God alone")

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Prayer Request

2010-10-18T19:36:00.004-05:00

I just received some wonderful news today. I got an invitation for an interview at Midwestern University in Downers Grove, IL, the pharmacy school I have my heart set on attending next fall!

First, I'd like to acknowledge my great God and Saviour to whom all praise, adoration, and credit of me getting this far belongs to. Secondly, I'd like to thank all of you who have supported, encouraged and/or prayed for me along my journey thus far.

My interview is set for Friday, November 19th at 8:45am and lasting until around 1pm. The statistics on their website show that 50% of the people interviewed last year were accepted into the program. Please continue to pray for me as the day approaches and the day of. May the will of the Lord be done! :)

A Hymn For Your Edification

2010-09-20T18:06:00.002-05:00

I came across an old hymn re-done by Craig Johnson. Click here to listen. May God make this the cry of our hearts. Amen.

Jesus, lover of my soul

Jesus, lover of my soul,
Let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll,
While the tempest still is high:
Hide me, O Savior, hide,
Till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide;
O, receive my soul at last!
O, receive my soul at last!

Other refuge have I none;
Hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone,
Still support and comfort me:
My trust on Thee is stayed;
All my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head
With the shadow of Thy wing,
With the shadow of Thy wing.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want;
More than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint,
Heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Holy is Thy name, I am all unrighteousness,
False, and full of sin I am,
Thou art full of truth and grace,
Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found,
Grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound,
Make and keep me pure within.
Fountain of life Thou art,
Freely let me take of Thee;
Spring up within my heart,
Rise to all eternity,
Rise to all eternity.

Christ Our Greatest Treasure

2010-09-08T21:54:00.004-05:00

I wanted to post a portion of a letter I wrote to a dear friend today. May God use it to exhort us to pray more fervently for God to cause our hearts to love Him and one another as we ought, and to incline us to an increase in godliness.

"...I keep coming back to the fact that Christ must be our all. When I am discontent in life, no matter what the cause, I am failing to find my complete satisfaction in Christ. May God help us, His feeble and weak children, to seek to have Christ be our greatest treasure and chief joy, by His abundant grace. Amen."

Grace and Peace be unto you Brethren,
Alison

I often listen to this song to remind myself of love of God for His people:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llsATJe93ZQ&p=E6B5ACF2C525DB83&playnext=1&index=10

A Return to Normalcy

2010-08-21T13:00:00.011-05:00

A number of things have transpired since I last wrote, and while I will not bore you with the details, I will provide you with a 'Reader's Digest version'. Upon my return from Maine: my month-long online advanced English composition course came to a close the first week of August during Camp Westminster; I began more aggressive study for the PCAT; upon receiving unpalatable scores on the PCAT in June, I made the decision to transfer to a university in the Chicago area this coming spring to obtain a B.S. in biology; I faced some monumental challenges; and Christ's work of sanctification has continued to take place in my heart and life. Overall, the past two months have been anything but commonplace.

Now that the PCAT is over and my application for pharmacy school has been submitted, the waiting game begins. I don't know whether my PCAT score for the exam in August will be competitive or not, but we shall see. :) Your prayers for favor in the eyes of the admissions committee at Midwestern University would be extremely appreciated. Thanks, brethren.

For the last month and a half I have been thinking a lot about the doctrine of sanctification, its effects, and applications. The concept that I find myself dwelling upon most frequently is how the Father receives glory in our weakness and in our supplications for grace. I think I am beginning to understand how our brother Paul could say in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:

"9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

May we continue to find comfort in our weakness, for in it the greatness of our GOD is manifest.

Praise be unto Him who alone is worthy.
-Alison

A Long Awaited Visit to Maine

2010-07-08T22:00:00.002-05:00

I am about to embark on a journey I have longed to take for nigh unto six years, since I first met my dear friend and former bunkmate, Julia Klein (Pusey), our first semester in Murrieta, CA. I will be spending a week in Sedgwick, ME with my dear friends, the Klein's. My travel there will be quite lengthy and I would appreciate your prayers for safety.

My travels will begin Friday evening promptly upon punching out of work at 6pm. I will then drive to Milwaukee and attempt to get a good night sleep before rising dark and early at 4am to catch my 6am flight out to Baltimore where I have a connecting flight to Portland, ME. From there I will catch a greyhound for a three hour bus ride to Bangor, from whence I believe it is near an hour drive to their humble abode in the woods on the very coast of Maine. I am looking forward to fellowship with them, romps in the woods, exploring on the rocky coast, and playing with possibly the cutest child I have ever come into contact with:

Eden Rivers Klein

Photo by Joshua Klein

I am not sure of what all awaits me during my time in Maine, but one thing I do know; 'how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together,' (Psalm 133:1). My times with the Klein's always proves to be extremely beneficial and edifying, and I trust likewise for them as well.

Thank you for your prayers concerning my trip and also for your continued prayers with the uncertain situation in regard to my employment.

May the grace of Christ be with you all,
Alison

Please enjoy a short video created by Joshua Klein, posted below, to get a taste of what I will be enjoying in the upcoming week (minus all the rain).

The Astounding Humility of Christ

2010-06-21T10:33:00.006-05:00

Yesterday morning I was blessed to be able to once again hear about the mind-boggling humility and grace of Christ as I heard the Word of GOD proclaimed and preached. The sermon text was from John 13:1-20. Click here to listen.

As I listened, my heart was overwhelmed at the thought that the Great I AM should stoop so low to redeem such a vile and wretched creature as I. The thought that the GOD of all the earth would go to such drastic lengths to secure my pardon before the Father through His own bloodshed is unfathomable. Not only has He taken the necessary measures to purchase me back from the dead, but He continually washes, cleanses, and sanctifies me. What a gracious Master we have! May His ultimate proclamation of His indelible grace, the cross, be our motivation for the furtherance of our love of GOD and neighbor.

To him be glory both now and forever, Amen.
-Alison

What Does It Mean To Be Reformed?

2010-06-19T19:19:00.005-05:00

About a month ago, a friend of mine sent me an article which helped to shed light on a term that I think is thrown around much too loosely and used to imply varying definitions. Hopefully after you read this article you will be able to better understand what the term 'reformed' really means.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

The Hallway and the Rooms
By: Michael Horton

Movements are funny things. Especially in the Internet Age, they can be like a summer monsoon in the Arizona desert, gathering impressive force with lightening and showers and then dissipating just as quickly. For example, the Tea Party movement in U.S. politics has been grabbing the headlines recently, but time will tell whether it’s a tempest in a teapot.

All the hoopla over John Piper’s invitation to Rick Warren to speak at an upcoming Desiring God conference points up the vitality and challenges of the “young, restless, and Reformed” movement. Almost as soon as TIME Magazine hailed this as the third of the ten trends shaping our world today (March 12, 2009), fissures and fault lines became apparent. Currently on Christianity Today’s liveblog, Collin Hansen (author of Young, Restless, and Reformed) has a good summary of the recent debate over the Warren invite. David Mills over at First Things has just added a thoughtful take on it. Since both of these quote some of my comments from this blog, I thought it might be worthwhile to expand a little bit on some wider concerns.

The Hallway and the Rooms
Evangelicalism is a movement, not a church, and that’s been part of its strength. In the wake of the Evangelical Revival in Britain and various “awakenings” in North America, a grassroots cooperation in missions and mercy ministries was formed between conservative Protestants ranging from Anglican to Anabaptist. Ever since Wesley and Whitefield, the evangelical movement has struggled to keep flying with its Arminian and Calvinist wings. Though dominated ever since the Second Great Awakening by Arminian sympathies, the “New Calvinism” of recent years has been nothing short of phenomenal.

However, evangelicalism—even in its “Calvinist” manifestation—is a movement, not a church. Movements are led by impressive and charismatic figures. Even Ben Franklin wanted to cozy up to George Whitefield, a Calvinistic Anglican leader of the Great Awakening who was the closest thing to a rock star in 18th-century America. Yet the tendency, then as now, has been to downplay the ordinary ministry of the church in favor of the extraordinary movements of the moment.

I’ve argued elsewhere that evangelicalism is like the village green in older parts of the country, especially New England. There may be two or three churches on the grounds, but the green itself is a wide open space where people from those churches can spill out in conversation and cooperation. Evangelicalism is not a church, though it often acts like one. It isn’t the big tent (more appropriate, given the history) that encompasses all of the churches on the green. It’s just…, well, the green. When it tries to adjudicate cases of faith and practice through conferences, press releases, and blogs, evangelicalism (including Calvinistic versions) exhibits its movement mentality.

My analogy echoes C. S. Lewis’s “mere Christianity”: a hallway in a large house where believers mix and mingle, often opening the door as non-Christians knock. But, as Lewis insisted, it’s in the rooms where people actually live as a family—where they sleep, are warmed by the fire, fed and clothed, and grow. We are formed in the family life of Christ’s body by particular churches, with their distinct confessions and practices. You can’t live in the hallway.

I’m not against evangelicalism as a village green or hallway. In fact, I think it’s a wonderful meeting place. However, when it acts like a church, much less replaces the church, I get nervous.

Young, Restless and Reformed?
Like wider evangelicalism, the “young, restless and Reformed” movement is a grassroots trend among people who are, generally speaking, not Reformed. I’m energized by this movement every day, as I interact with people from a variety of churches, backgrounds, and traditions who are drawn to the doctrines of grace. I spend a lot of my time in this hallway and am enriched by it.

Nevertheless, not even a “Reformed” hallway is anything more than a hallway. “Reformed” has a specific meaning. It’s not defined by movements, parachurch ministries, or powerful leaders, but by a confession that is lived out in concrete contexts across a variety of times and places. The Westminster Standards and the Three Forms of Unity (Belgic Confession, Heidelberg Catechism, and Canons of Dort) define what it means to be Reformed. Like Orthodoxy, Roman Catholicism, Lutheranism, and Anabaptism, Reformed Christianity is a particular tradition. It’s not defined by a few fundamentals, but by a whole system of faith and practice. If being Reformed can be reduced to believing in the sovereignty of God and election, then Thomas Aquinas is as Reformed as R. C. Sproul. However, the Reformed confession is a lot more than that. Even the way it talks about these doctrines is framed within a wider context of covenant theology.

It’s intriguing to me that people can call themselves Reformed today when they don’t embrace this covenant theology. This goes to the heart of how we read the Bible, not just a few doctrines here or there. Yet what was once recognized as essential to Reformed faith and practice is now treated merely as a sub-set (and a small one at that) of the broader “Reformed” big tent. Yet now it would appear that the identity of the “young, restless and Reformed” movement is at stake over whether Rick Warren gets an invitation to speak at a national conference.

Nobody thinks a Roman Catholic person is narrow and exclusive for embracing papacy and the sacrifice of the Mass. People don’t call themselves Lutheran just because they believe in justification. Baptists (at least historically) do not even recognize as valid the baptism of non-Baptists. Yet increasingly those who affirm the Reformed confessions are treated with suspicion as narrow and divisive for actually being Reformed.

For centuries, the “Reformed” label has been embraced by people from Anglican, Presbyterian, and Reformed traditions. Only in the last few decades has it included those who do not embrace a covenantal interpretation of Scripture, which encompasses baptism and the Supper, the connectional government of the church, eschatology, and a host of other issues that distinguish Reformed from non-Reformed positions. I often run into Christians who say that they are Reformed—and also dispensational or charismatic, Baptist or Barthian, and a variety of other combinations. Like the term “evangelical,” “Reformed” is whatever you want it to be. It’s hard to challenge pragmatic evangelicalism’s cafeteria-style approach to truth when “Reformed” versions seem to be going down the same path.

In this situation, whatever divides confessionally Reformed and Presbyterian folks from others who affirm the five points of Calvinism has to be treated as secondary. Most obviously, the baptism of covenant children and the nature of the Lord’s Supper are treated merely as relatively unimportant. But the nature of the visible church and its ministry, especially the sacraments, have always been regarded as relatively unimportant in evangelicalism. By the way, when a Baptist brother refuses to acknowledge our baptism as valid, it’s hardly secondary to Baptists. I respect those who hold this view at least for the importance that they give to a crucial biblical doctrine.

Evangelicalism’s conversion-centered paradigm is different from Reformed Christianity’s covenantal paradigm. It’s not just a divergence here and there, but a difference that affects (or should affect) how we understand, experience, and live out our faith in the world. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hang out in the hallway from time to time; we should just be aware that it’s the hallway.

Regular listeners to White Horse Inn and readers of Modern Reformation are familiar with our regular reminder that we’re not a church, but a conversation. Our organization isn’t Reformed, but a conversation between Calvinistic Baptists, Lutherans, Reformed, and Anglicans, drawing from our common agreement in the truths rediscovered in the Reformation. Sometimes views are expressed that I don’t agree with as a Reformed person, but that’s fine. Even when we defend truths we all agree on in substance, we are coming at it from the depth of our own traditions, which we did not invent. We’re not looking for a lowest-common-denominator, a quasi-confession for a movement, but are hoping to provoke discussions that lead people back to their rooms with more understanding of the other rooms and resources for vital engagement with the issues of our time and place. The old-style evangelicalism, where the movement is defined by parachurch conferences, networks, and personalities, is hopefully on the wane, as younger generations enjoy the conversation in the hallway but take the church more seriously.

Movements can serve an important role in shifting broad currents, but they are shallow. They rise and fall in the court of public opinion, not in the courts of the churches where Christ has installed officers to shepherd his flock. That doesn’t mean that they are wrong: it’s wonderful when thousands of brothers and sisters encounter the God of glorious grace in a deeper way. Yet movements can’t go very deep: when they do, differences are bound to emerge. The usually rise and fall with the personalities who lead them. Nor can movements pass the faith down from generation to generation. Only churches can do that.

If Not “Reformed,” Then What?
So I’ve wondered about a new term that we can use for the “young, restless, and Reformed” movement: “Evangelical Calvinism.” Why not? It’s the sort of term that can encompass J. I. Packer, Martyn Lloyd-Jones, John MacArthur, John Piper, and R. C. Sproul. Reformed Christians should swell with excitement when brothers and sisters embrace the doctrines of grace and “evangelical Calvinism” distinguishes us from evangelical Arminianism.

I’m suggesting this not just out of a concern to protect the distinctives that I believe are essential to Reformed Christianity, but also out of a concern for the ongoing vitality of the movement toward the doctrines of grace. Right now, it seems to me, this movement is being threatened by the movement mentality that characterizes evangelicalism more broadly. The very lack of a doctrine of the church lies at the heart of this. There are “evangelical Calvinists” from other traditions who realize this. For example, my friend Mark Dever at Capitol Hill Baptist Church has a strong Baptist ecclesiology. In comparison with mainstream evangelicalism, it isn’t “weak” in the least, although it’s also not Reformed. He hasn’t settled for a movement-oriented evangelical ecclesiology, but bases his ministry in the local church. In other words, for him, the hallway isn’t a substitute for the Baptist room.

Right now, though, the “young, restless and Reformed” movement is in danger of succumbing to the fate of all movements at their peak: splintering. Our confessions help us major on the majors, leaving secondary matters open. Yet the “New Calvinism” movement is already showing signs of stress over questions like the age of the earth. Churches have ways of dealing with questions of fraternal relations and cooperation, but leader-driven movements can’t handle the stress. Conferences operate as quasi-official church courts, with vigilante benedictions and excommunications determining who’s in or out. It’s like the wild west.

Christ promised to be with his church to the end, expanding his embassy to the ends of the earth. Christ pledged that the gates of hell cannot prevail against his church. The same promise can’t be invoked for a movement. May God swell the hallway with new visitors! And may we all have the charity to come out of our rooms every now and again to bless each other and bear witness together to God’s sovereign grace. But discipleship has to be formed in the rooms—in real churches, where the depth and breadth of God’s Word is explored and lived.

Backlog Blogpost

2010-06-10T10:46:00.007-05:00

I was going through old documents on my laptop this morning and came across a blogpost I'd written, but never published for reasons I cannot remember. May you be encouraged through past struggles that I faced.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Blog post for December 18, 2009

Over the course of the last four weeks I have faced such difficult trials that I have not faced since two years ago. I am naturally a pretty happy, joyful, and upbeat person and when extended periods of melancholy, apathy, depression, low spirits, discouragement, anxiety, fear and the like persist beyond 2 weeks time, I start to get frustrated. While I am not quick to pin the reasoning for this taking place upon one thing or another, I am certain that sometimes Christ causes His people to go through times of trial that are illogical, at least in our finite minds. When we read the Scripture it is clear that we have no reason to feel or think in the ways I just described, for He is sovereign and in control over our next breath and step. While I continued to preach to myself truths found in Scripture, read books that would remind me of His loveliness and beauty, listened to sermons and music that reminded me of the blessed atonement Christ merited in my stead, sought genuine and edifying fellowship with the brethren, prayed earnestly unto GOD for Him to do a work of grace in my heart, plead with others for their prayers for the same, continued to read Scripture and continually remind myself of the promises found therein...I remained the same. My question to you dear reader is, ‘were all my efforts to bring about change in my heart in vain’? Absolutely not! On the contrary, when one is planting a field or a garden and there is a drought, does one just put away the watering cans and the hose and say, ‘Oh well! What will be, will be.’ GOD has promised that He will sanctify His bride until the day we are with Him face to face at which time we will be glorified (made fully human as we were intended to be without the capability of sin). My point is this; our faith is not a passive one, rather it is active. While it is possible for GOD to put grace in our hearts apart from the means of grace, He has decreed means by which this happens. Means such as those I listed above. I write these things not to applaud myself, for GOD knows that in my life there have been more times of failure in a given moment than victory of obedience. Rather, I write these things to encourage you dear struggling Christian; take heart, this too shall pass. Some verses of Scripture that have been a source of great comfort to me during this time of trial are as follows:

Lamentations 3:17-26

“17 my soul is bereft of peace;
I have forgotten what happiness is;
18 so I say, “My endurance has perished;
so has my hope from the Lord.”
19 Remember my affliction and my wanderings,
the wormwood and the gall!
20 My soul continually remembers it
and is bowed down within me.
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”
25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.”

I have also found many of the Psalms to be comforting to my heart. I also wanted to share a song that a friend of mine shared with me which I have found to be a comfort to my heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F9z54g30Eo

Let us remember that the LORD is sovereign and has promised to care for His bride. All things He does are for His good and glory and works ALL things for our good to those that love Him and are the called according to His purpose. Let us be careful (full of cares) for no thing. Let us humble ourselves before our Great and gracious King of all the earth.

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

The Providence of GOD

2010-05-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

Last summer I feverishly read through several different confessions of faith to do a 'who's who' introduction to the different doctrinal viewpoints within the reformed community as well as to educate myself in creeds and confessions that have long been neglected by much of the Church. They included, The Westminster Confession of Faith, The Three Forms of Unity, and The London Baptist Confession of Faith of 1689. I also found it to be a refreshing theological exercise as I sought to compare each individual confession with the clear exegesis of Scripture. I wanted to include a few Articles from the Westminster Confession as well as the Belgic on the matter of GOD's providence. I've included the proof texts as well for your benefit and edification that you might be able to look up the passages which these doctrines are built upon, without proof texts, we have no Confession. Sola Scriptura indeed. :) For those a bit wary of Confessions of Faith, I challenge you to look up the passages and see if their summation fits the clear teaching of Scripture as a benefit to yourself and others.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Westminster Confession of Faith, Chapter V - Of Providence

I. God the great Creator of all things does uphold,[1] direct, dispose, and govern all creatures, actions, and things,[2] from the greatest even to the least,[3] by His most wise and holy providence,[4] according to His infallible foreknowledge,[5] and the free and immutable counsel of His own will,[6] to the praise of the glory of His wisdom, power, justice, goodness, and mercy.[7]

II. Although, in relation to the foreknowledge and decree of God, the first Cause, all things come to pass immutably, and infallibly;[8] yet, by the same providence, He orders them to fall out, according to the nature of second causes, either necessarily, freely, or contingently.[9]

III. God, in His ordinary providence, makes use of means,[10] yet is free to work without,[11] above,[12] and against them,[13] at His pleasure.

IV. The almighty power, unsearchable wisdom, and infinite goodness of God so far manifest themselves in His providence, that it extends itself even to the first fall, and all other sins of angels and men;[14] and that not by a bare permission,[15] but such as has joined with it a most wise and powerful bounding,[16] and otherwise ordering, and governing of them, in a manifold dispensation, to His own holy ends;[17] yet so, as the sinfulness thereof proceeds only from the creature, and not from God, who, being most holy and righteous, neither is nor can be the author or approver of sin.[18]

V. The most wise, righteous, and gracious God does oftentimes leave, for a season, His own children to manifold temptations, and the corruption of their own hearts, to chastise them for their former sins, or to discover unto them the hidden strength of corruption and deceitfulness of their hearts, that they may be humbled;[19] and, to raise them to a more close and constant dependence for their support upon Himself, and to make them more watchful against all future occasions of sin, and for sundry other just and holy ends.[20]

VI. As for those wicked and ungodly men whom God, as a righteous Judge, for former sins, does blind and harden,[21] from them He not only withholds His grace whereby they might have been enlightened in their understandings, and wrought upon in their hearts;[22] but sometimes also withdraws the gifts which they had,[23] and exposes them to such objects as their corruption makes occasion of sin;[24] and, withal, gives them over to their own lusts, the temptations of the world, and the power of Satan,[25] whereby it comes to pass that they harden themselves, even under those means which God uses for the softening of others.[26]

VII. As the providence of God does, in general, reach to all creatures; so, after a most special manner, it takes care of His Church, and disposes all things to the good thereof.[27]

Proof Texts:
[1] HEB 1:3
[2] DAN 4:34-35, PS 135:6, ACTS 17:25-28, JOB 38-41
[3] MAT 10:29-31
[4] PRO 15:3, PS 104:24, 145:17
[5] ACT 15:18, PS 94:8-11
[6] EPH 1:11, PS 33:10
[7] ISA 63:14, EPH 3:10, ROM 9:17, GEN 45:7, PS 145:7
[8] ACT 2:23
[9] GEN 8:22, JER 31:35, EX 21:13, DEUT 19:5, 1KINGS 22:28,34, ISA 10:6-7
[10] ACT 27:31,44 ISA 55:10-11, HOS 2:21-22
[11] HOS 1:7, MAT 4:4, JOB 34:10
[12] ROM 4:19-21
[13] 2KINGS 6:6, DAN 3:27
[14] ROM 11:32-34, 2SAM 24:1, 1CHRON 21:1, 1KINGS 22:22-23, 1CHRON 10:4, 2SAM 16:10, ACTS 2:23, ACT 4:27-28
[15] ACT 14:16
[16] PS 76:10, 2KINGS 19:28
[17] GEN 50:20, ISA 10:6-7,12
[18] JAM 1:13-14,17, 1JOHN 2:16, PS 50:21
[19] 2CHRON 32:25-26,31, 2SAM 24:1
[20] 2COR 12:7-9, PSA 77:1,12 (cf. MAR 14:66-72 with JOH 21:15-17)
[21] ROM 1:24,26,28, 11:7-8
[22] DEUT 29:4
[23] MAT 13:12, 25:29
[24] DEUT 2:30, 2KINGS 8:12-13
[25] PSA 81:11-12, 2THESS 2:10-12
[26] EXO 7:3, 8:15,32, 2COR 2:15, ISA 8:14, 1PET 2:7-8, ISA 6:9-10, ACTS 28:26-27
[27] 1TIM 4:10, AMOS 9:8-9, ROM 8:28, ISA 43:3-5, 14

Belgic Confession, Article 13: The Doctrine of God's Providence

* We believe that this good God, after he created all things, did not abandon them to chance or fortune but leads and governs them according to his holy will, in such a way that nothing happens in this world without his orderly arrangement.

Yet God is not the author of, nor can he be charged with, the sin that occurs. For his power and goodness are so great and incomprehensible that he arranges and does his work very well and justly even when the devils and wicked men act unjustly.

We do not wish to inquire with undue curiosity into what he does that surpasses human understanding and is beyond our ability to comprehend. But in all humility and reverence we adore the just judgments of God, which are hidden from us, being content to be Christ's disciples, so as to learn only what he shows us in his Word, without going beyond those limits.

This doctrine gives us unspeakable comfort since it teaches us that nothing can happen to us by chance but only by the arrangement of our gracious heavenly Father. He watches over us with fatherly care, keeping all creatures under his control, so that not one of the hairs on our heads (for they are all numbered) nor even a little bird can fall to the ground^20 without the will of our Father.

In this thought we rest, knowing that he holds in check the devils and all our enemies, who cannot hurt us without his permission and will.

For that reason we reject the damnable error of the Epicureans, who say that God involves himself in nothing and leaves everything to chance.

Proof Texts: 20 Matt. 10:29-30

**NOTE: There are more proof texts for this article in the Belgic Confession, but I have loaned out my only copy and there is no copy online that I am aware of that contains all the proof texts. If anyone knows where I might find it online, please leave a comment. Thanks!

Can GOD Use Me?

2010-05-18T08:00:00.001-05:00

I wanted to post a quote from a book I recently finished, 'A Heart For God' by Sinclair Ferguson. This quote is something that I believe to be true with all my heart and something that I find great comfort in. May you be encouraged as well.

"...usefulness in God's hands is not necessarily the same as having a heart for God Himself. Sometimes the Lord uses us despite ourselves. It is simply not biblical to say He will not 'use' us unless we are obedient to Him and living in the fullness of the Spirit. He may 'use' us even when our hearts are not attuned to Him. He works out His own plans in His own way. But He loves to use those who have a heart to love and serve Him, and the closing verses of Ruth 1 indicate that Naomi had such heart..." (P. 144).

Let the Summer Commence!

2010-05-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

I am excited to announce I am officially one semester away from completing my time at UW Oshkosh! Please do not allow my enthusiasm for the termination of my education at Oshkosh to persuade you that I do not enjoy my time there; for I do, very much indeed. It has been a great place to learn, study, and grow academically and practically, but I cannot wait for grad school; and even more so -- my nine month sabbatical from all universities of any sort, which will commence this December. It seems like just yesterday I was struggling over whether or not I ought to change my career path from social worker to pharmacist. I remember the feeling of heaviness when my plans to be finished with college in a mere 5.5 years turned into a daunting eight. Taking a deep breath, I plunged into my first semester as a pre-pharmacy student without the safety net of having a major and praying that I'd made the right decision and wasn't spending time taking classes that would not go towards that treasured degree and longed for exit from higher learning. I struggled quite a bit that semester and sincerely doubted whether I would make it in grad school since I was having such trouble with general chemistry. By the grace of GOD I pulled off a 3.4 GPA that semester, while it was not as high as I wanted, it was pretty good considering my course load and having not yet learned how to study effectively at the college level. Let's fast forward two years...

This past semester has been unlike any other I have had yet. The only continuity with other semesters it has presented is the LORD's astonishing faithfulness in every way possible. After changing my career path I had to start from scratch at building a group of comrades within my same academic path. This semester I formed and continued many friendships that began last semester and is part of why this semester has been unlike all those that have gone before. This was an aspect that has made my college experience much more enjoyable and bearable, especially during stressful moments. I have also learned many lessons this semester which weren't in the books. For instance, I've discovered how to more efficiently manage my time and waste less of it. I also believe I've finally implemented all the study skills which will be essential for grad school, and above all I have finally been able to realize and express the passion I have for being a pharmacist and exactly why that is. Feel free to ask me! :)

Another really important thing I've gleaned is how to continue steadfastly with arduous or stressful tasks at hand while maintaining a joyful, exultant heart. Times come to mind when I would study ten hours or more for a quiz and still end up with a C; or worse yet, studying fifteen or more hours for an exam only to fail it. Talk about frustrating! And yet He sustained me from becoming over-burdened with these things and to continue to praise and trust Him no matter what the outcome. The resilience I have experienced is 100% the grace of GOD. While I am naturally ambitious, determined, and a goal oriented person, yet a great deal of the Lord's grace was needed to change my attitude when it seemed as though all odds were stacked against me; when victory seemed impossible and every sound seemed to shout, "Quit! Take an easier route!" Believe me, if the prize at the end weren't worth it, I'd have thrown in the towel long ago. Along these lines, I am constantly learning to apply biblical principles of Christian life to my academic career. In so many ways this experience has been a sanctifying one, as I daily practice making Christ my greatest treasure in all that I do.

On a more practical note; for those who wished to see me since I went into hiding this past February, I will be kicking off the summer with a trip down to Des Plaines to visit some dear friends of mine. I will be scarce for a few days, but perhaps after that we'll get together? And lastly, as a heads up to all my faithful readers, I regret to say that it is quite likely blogposts will be few and far between this summer. This is due to the fact that pretty much any free moment I have will be occupied with studying. While traveling here or there, countless flashcards and enormous PCAT books will be my constant companions. :) But if anyone wants to help me study, I'm totally up for quizzes. :)

May we daily take joy in the GOD of our salvation, the GOD of all grace and comfort.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Christ, our Passover Lamb

2010-03-30T16:39:00.010-05:00

There's nothing like bringing in the Passover with some good Reformed Hip-Hop. Check out Hazakim's song "Passover Lamb". In the beginning it goes back and forth between a skeptic/cynic and then to a believer, so don't be alarmed...keep listening. :) Also, here's a creative way Shai Linne has told the story of the Passover on his album, 'Storiez'. Listen to it here.

Providentially, I have been reading in Exodus since last week and was in chapter 12 on the eve of Passover. It was neat to have been reading about the events leading up to Passover, as often times I forget some of the details. Here's a video that sums up the events leading up to Passover, click here.

I also brought in the holiday last night listening to Spurgeon's sermon, Christ our Passover Lamb, which is the whole point of the holiday. Let us rejoice that Christ alone is the atonement for our souls and has made peace with GOD for us, through the blood of the cross which is applied to us by the gift of saving faith.

Romans 5:1-11

5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Let us laud the One who stood in our place, condemned, under the righteous wrath of the Father and took upon His sinless self the sins of all those who would believe.

Isaiah 53
53:1 Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?
2 For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But he was wounded for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
yet he opened not his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
so he opened not his mouth.
8 By oppression and judgment he was taken away;
and as for his generation, who considered
that he was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
9 And they made his grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
11 Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;
by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant,
make many to be accounted righteous,
and he shall bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many,
and he shall divide the spoil with the strong,
because he poured out his soul to death
and was numbered with the transgressors;
yet he bore the sin of many,
and makes intercession for the transgressors.

Solus Christus (Christ Alone),
Alison

Updates and Prayer Requests

2010-03-23T16:28:00.010-05:00

Recently I had earnestly asked for your prayers in regard to my study of some very important doctrines. My study has only scarcely begun and no doubt will continue well into the summer and quite likely into next year. Due to being fully engaged in a quite rigorous course load, my time to spend studying theology and doctrine during the school year is quite limited. I have begun to come to several conclusions as I study Scripture and discuss these things with elders and learned laity alike. I will let you in on the doctrines that I am more fully seeking out that you might be able to more candidly intercede on my behalf as Christ makes your (and my) prayers effective through His own shed blood. I am studying the covenants (especially as it relates to baptism); and gender and practical roles within a marriage. Knowing this, you can see why my study of these things could prove to be life changing. Thus far, I have only been further confirmed in the convictions of what I already affirm to be the clear exegesis of Scripture. As my understanding of these subjects becomes more and more defined and as my arguments become more solidified, I will be posting articles. I highly doubt that any articles will be written until well into the summer due to my demanding school schedule at present as well as preparing to take the PCAT and my desire to give myself plenty of time to sort through and study these things before coming to a definite position.

I also would sincerely ask for your prayers concerning possible opportunities to serve the LORD in practical ways in the more immediate future as well as I consider and pray about what my next step should be after I am finished with undergrad in December. As many people know I have been desiring to leave Wisconsin for some time now. Please pray for wisdom and discernment as I consider a possible move by years' end. Thanks brethren.

Let us consider the GOD of grace and may He be our sole treasure and chief joy and desire. A verse that I have been contemplating quite heavily since Sunday's sermon that may be of encouragement to you all is the following; "13 These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. 14 For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. 15 If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city" (Hebrews 11:11-16).

Check out what is probably my all time favorite song by Shai Linne, 'My Portion'.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56HR7RhzZE4

There's Only One

2010-03-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

The quality of this video makes them sound semi out of tune, which is sad. I agree with You Caedmon's Call. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l_tzmR56i8

Spring break arrives at 1:40pm and I will be leaving promptly for the Chicago area for a few days. I am greatly looking forward to fellowship with like-minded believers I met at Camp Westminster last summer and hopefully will make a few new friends as well.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Free Audiobook Download #2 - Pilgrim's Progress!

2010-03-15T17:01:00.005-05:00

Wow, christianaudio.com is going all out this month. This is the second great book they've offered for free this month! :) Click here to download. Instructions for download are given on the site.

Enjoy!

Alison

Music Recommendation

2010-03-12T10:45:00.006-06:00

I was introduced to the band, 'Sanctus Real' a few months ago and since then have really enjoyed and benefited from their music. They recently released their newest album, Pieces of a Real Heart, but I would recommend the Deluxe Edition. It's fifty cents for five extra songs, all of which are acoustic versions of other songs on the album. I haven't listened to the entire album yet, but thus far I have really enjoyed the songs, 'Forgiven', 'These Things Take Time', and 'Lead Me'. All of which whose content I can relate to quite intimately.

On another note; spring break is coming up. I am hoping to be able to take some time during the break to post a few entries as I haven't really had time to post anything of much substance lately. Well, off to class.

Grace and Peace be unto brethren,
Alison

Prayer and Rejoicing

2010-03-09T21:59:00.006-06:00

Dear friends and readers,

I am happy to announce that I was informed last night that little Asaph Juliot, the first born son of two friends of mine, was born last night. I had been informed earlier in the pregnancy that there were some possible complications and was asked to pray for both mother and child; and I was overjoyed to hear of GOD's gracious and sovereign hand in a successful delivery. Praise be unto Him who holds all things in His hands (Col 1).

I would also earnestly ask for your prayers as I continue to sort through some very important doctrines in the upcoming weeks and months. I desire that GOD would, "enlighten my eyes that I might see wondrous things from His law" (Ps. 119:18); and that I would be applying proper exegesis as I study the Scriptures. My conclusions on this topic will have great ramifications upon future life decisions and my outlook on many interrelated subjects. May I be true to the Scriptures and their proper interpretation.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Free Audiobook of the Month!

2010-03-01T16:27:00.002-06:00

Every month christianaudio.com offers a free audiobook download to subscribing members (you just have to set up an account - it's completely free). This month has two free audiobooks. I am choosing to only recommend the book by John Piper because I know who he is and what he believes. As for Dietrich Bonhoeffer, I've heard the name but am not really sure what his theology was so I am not extending a recommendation. If anyone can tell me more about him, I'd be most appreciative. Here is the link to Piper's book, 'Fifty Reasons Why Jesus Came to Die'.

The instructions for creating an account and downloading are given on the site. Enjoy! :)

-Alison

More Love to Thee, O Christ

2010-02-18T23:54:00.003-06:00

I have come to the conclusion that the answer to all my problems is to love Christ more, and with all that I am. May He in His abundant grace do this in my heart, and in all the family of GOD.

'More Love to Thee, O Christ'
By: Elizabeth P. Prentiss

More love to thee, O Christ, more love to thee!
Hear thou the prayer I make on bended knee.
This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to thee;
more love to thee, more love to thee!

Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
now thee alone I seek, give what is best.
This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to thee;
more love to thee, more love to thee!

Let sorrow do its work, come grief and pain;
sweet are thy messengers, sweet their refrain,
when they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to thee;
more love to thee, more love to thee!

Then shall my latest breath whisper thy praise;
this be the parting cry my heart shall raise;
this still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to thee;
more love to thee, more love to thee!

Two Questions

2010-02-06T14:33:00.007-06:00

I have two questions which I am hoping someone has the answers to (or at least some thoughts about them). They are the following:

1. For about 10 years now I have been wondering what exactly a, 'gentle and quiet spirit' are, spoken of in 1 Peter 3:4, which lists some of the attributes of a godly woman, "...but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (emphasis mine). I have asked several people this question over the years, but I don't feel that I ever received a sufficient answer.

2. Does anyone know anything about Boston, MA, been there, or can give me some info about it?

Looking forward to hearing your responses.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

A Message to a Friend

2010-02-05T09:37:00.003-06:00

I wrote this message to a friend this morning. I wanted to share it because perchance it might encourage someone else.

"I am learning that great suffering causes the heart to be more enamored with Christ by His grace working in the heart; and am certain that if Christ would ask me to be tortured or give my life for His sake that by that same grace I would not only give it Him willingly, but eagerly and with great joy."

May you be encouraged if you are going through difficult times.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

26th and 10th Anniversaries

2010-01-29T12:32:00.006-06:00

Today marks my 26th year on planet earth this side of the womb and this summer sometime marks the 10th year of my deliverance from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of Light ("...He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:13-14). This morning as I was reflecting back upon the faithfulness of GOD throughout the past 10 years I was sobered at the fact that so much grace could be given to such a wretch as I. I have failed to represent my LORD so many times and continually fall so short of what I ought to be, yet He continues His work of grace in me - (chastisement, confession, repentance, reconciliation, and sanctification). Two songs came to mind this morning; one being nostalgic in nature, and the other containing thoughts of looking ahead to all of life's tomorrows. As I mull over the lyrical content I realize that they encapsulate the deepest cries of my heart and bring into summation my past, present and future longings for the Father to form Christ's image more perfectly in me for His Father's glory and Namesake.

'Looking Back' by: Jeremy Camp

Many times I take for granted
Just what you've done for me
The heart in which you've planted
Is precious for you to see

The cross in which you've hung
Is not a place for a king to be
Lord the wounds that stung you did it all for, you did it all for me

You've always been so faithful
Even when I don't deserve
Lord help me to be more grateful
Of the love that you preserve

The cross in which you've hung
Is not a place for a king to be
Lord the wounds that stung you did it all for, you did it all for me

Help me to look into your gracious eyes
Take the selfishness away from me

O yeah yeah he died for me (X2)
O yeah yeah

Help me to look into your gracious eyes
Take the selfishness away from me

He died for me
*(While I am not much of a Jeremy Camp fan anymore, I still appreciate some of his songs).

'The Lord Will Provide'
by: John Newton
Performed by: Matthew Smith

Though troubles assail and dangers affright,
Though friends should all fail and foes all unite;
Yet one thing secures us, whatever betide,
The scripture assures us, the Lord will provide

The birds without barn or storehouse are fed,
From them let us learn to trust for our bread:
His saints, what is fitting, shall ne'er be denied,
So long as it's written, the Lord will provide

We may, like the ships, by the tempest be tossed
On perilous deeps, but cannot be lost.
Though Satan enrages the wind and the tide,
The promise engages, the Lord will provide.

His call we obey, like Abram of old,
Not knowing our way, but faith makes us bold;
For though we are strangers we have a good Guide,
And trust in all dangers, the Lord will provide

When Satan appears to stop up our path,
And fill us with fears, we triumph by faith;
He cannot take from us, though oft he has tried,
This heart-cheering promise, the Lord will provide

He tells us we're weak, our hope is in vain,
The good that we seek we ne'er shall obtain,
But when such suggestions our spirits have plied,
This answers all questions, the Lord will provide

No strength of our own, or goodness we claim,
Yet since we have known the Savior's great name;
In this our strong tower for safety we hide,
The Lord is our power, the Lord will provide

When life sinks apace and death is in view,
This word of his grace shall comfort us through:
No fearing or doubting with Christ on our side,
We hope to die shouting the Lord will provide

Be encouraged brethren, our GOD is a jealous GOD and He has promised to save, sanctify, and one day glorify His Bride. I leave you (and myself) with this exhortation to ponder and apply:
"1:9 And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. 11 May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 13 He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. 15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. 21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, 23 if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, became a minister. 24 Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, 25 of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, 26 the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. 27 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. 28 Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ. 29 For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me."

"3:1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 On account of these the wrath of God is coming. 7 In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. 8 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. 11 Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. 12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
(Colossians 1:9-29, 3:1-17)

May my 26th year prove to be the best year yet for Christ's sake and glory!

Grace and Peace,
Alison

A Testimony of Grace: Part II

2010-01-25T12:25:00.001-06:00

This is a letter I wrote to someone recently which I have edited slightly and taken out names for privacy reasons and re-titled as: ‘A Testimony of Grace: Part II’. This is part of a two part series of blog entries. Click here to read Part I.

Dear _______,

I had originally planned on giving you this letter right before I left for Kansas and while I am no longer going to Kansas, I still owe it to you to explain myself more fully as to what has gone on with me over the last two years and that is what I will attempt to do in the following pages. Let me first start out by thanking you for being a big part of my life and offering me such dear friendship for so many years. I am not certain what sorts of things I was accused or still am being accused of or things that were said about me in the last months we spent together in regular fellowship but I would like to, for GOD’s sake and perhaps those wrongly accused of things, declare to you what really happened with me.

I guess the best place to begin would be Sunday, May 28, 2007 as that is when I usually begin this story. My paternal grandmother died that day quite unexpectedly. My father and my paternal grandfather hold a special place in my heart, especially my dad as we have always been close. I was finishing up my final week of interim that week and the following day I had a speech to give in front of the entire class and a final exam only 3 days later. At this point I still didn’t have much of a relationship with my parents and I felt as though there was no one I could really talk to that could understand the pain and heartache I was going through during that time. So I kept it all inside. The LORD was gracious and carried me through that difficult week and I even got an A in the class. By Friday, the day of the funeral, I was beyond exhausted having only been able to sleep about four hours each night and crying myself to sleep each night. I know I spoke with you about these things, but it seemed as though no one really could understand and I felt really alone in my struggle. While my three closest friends tried to be there for me and such, nothing really seemed to help because I felt as though I needed to put on a happy face and pretend like everything was ok because they felt awkward about it and we never really talked about it. The difficulty of seeing my family mourn, my lack of sleep, not being able to talk to anyone about all that was going on (especially my parents), were all compounded with news that a dear friend of mine who hadn’t spoken to me in almost a year who had left on bad terms last time we saw each other contacted me and told me that their life was mess, far beyond what I had expected. At that point all that I was dealing with became more than I could bear. I went from moments of complete depression to times of complete and unexplainable rage. I had so much turmoil inside of me I felt like I was going to go crazy. All the while I was desperately crying out to GOD to deliver me from how I was feeling, yet deliverance never came. I began to grow bitter toward the LORD, and eventually I began to hate Him. I remember the night I hit rock bottom; I genuinely wanted to die because I could not handle the craziness going on inside of me. I told GOD that I hated Him for not taking this away from me and that I wanted to die, but knew that if I did that I would be with Him and that was the last thing I wanted. It still brings anguish and immense lamenting to even speak of these memories. My parents saw that I was acting extremely out of the ordinary and tried to make me talk to them. I refused. I packed my bags the next day and left a note saying I didn’t know when or if I’d ever be back. I lived with a friend for the next couple weeks. While things started to get a little better in that I recognized that I was still purposely showing contempt in my heart toward the LORD and I wanted to make things right again, it was almost as if I didn’t know how. So I went on that way I was for those two weeks. It was suggested to me by a friend that I live with a couple other girl friends of mine who were also believers. I took their advice and called one of them up and moved in with them at the beginning of July. Two days after moving in with them, the LORD broke me and brought an end to my obstinacy. After this, the timing of things gets a bit blurry and everything is sort of melded together in my mind but I will try and dictate the order of events as best I can. Over the course of July a number of significant things happened. For the first time since I was 12, I had an open relationship with my parents again (meaning that I began to talk to them again about things going on in my life, my struggles, etc). The Holy Spirit also opened my eyes to the depths of my sin and caused me to realize that the majority of my life since being converted would burn up as chaff if I were to die during that time because I had been living under false pretense- I had been living for myself by my own strength in an attempt to make myself pleasing to GOD rather than knowing and believing it was GOD who had justified me and was sanctifying me. Essentially, I learned that though a converted believer of Christ, I was living under the law and in legalism. Because I believed that I had to keep myself in the faith by my own ability until the end, I was trusting in my own works to keep me in the faith rather than confessing my inability, asking GOD for faith to believe that promise, trusting that Christ would do it, and then walking in that.

One of my housemates and I became really good friends that summer and ended up spending a good amount of time together. I can remember a specific conversation we had that summer. I asked her if she believed if it was possible for us not to persevere until the end by walking away from the LORD. She said something to the effect of, “It’s not a question of whether or not the person can persevere, but the fact that they will persevere because they are sealed. You can’t be sealed and then no longer sealed, that just doesn’t make sense.” I said that’s what I thought too. Believing that by GOD’s grace He would keep me in the faith all my days was the cornerstone for me in believing that GOD is sovereign in every aspect in the saving of His people, for I had proved Scripture to be true in my own life. I did not do as 1 John 2:19 says, “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us”. I knew that if it were possible for me to depart from the faith/no longer be saved; it would have been during June of 2007. Yet Christ graciously kept me as He has promised He would keep all that the Father gave Him (see John 17), especially verse 12; “While I was with them, I kept them in your name, which you have given me. I have guarded them, and not one of them has been lost except the son of destruction, that the Scripture might be fulfilled”. Knowing that it was Christ who had saved me and promised to keep me unto the end brought great comfort to my heart because it was no longer my efforts that would keep me in the faith. Did this truth bring sluggardly laziness in my desire to keep GOD’s commandments and walk in holiness? No way! On the contrary, I began to more fervently seek Christ and desire more earnestly to do what is right in His eyes, through His grace working in me. That is the summation of that chapter of my life. Let’s fast forward to fall 2007.

I was living in my own apartment and still pursuing Social Work. A girl friend of mine and I were hanging out quite a bit and having very profitable times together listening to different sermons and talking about the things of the LORD. Around Thanksgiving break I began to be confronted in my conscience that although I knew what I ought to be doing, (i.e. spending my free time profitably reading Scripture, books, and listening to sermons) instead of watching vain movies and listening to vain music; and other such things as: rejoicing in Christ always and the content and deliverance of my speech (i.e. using sarcasm - which is sinful, speaking of things that are forbidden in Eph. 5:3a-4, 4:29, Colossians 3:8-10, 16-17). I knew that Jesus had said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15), yet I was not doing what He so clearly commanded. I began to take the clear commands of scripture more seriously than I ever had before. I began to seek to use every capacity of my free time for GOD’s glory whether it be listening to a sermon on the drive to school rather than music, listening to an audio bible while I ate meals rather than watching a movie, writing articles for the edification of the body, praying in my spare time, etc. It was a work of grace in my life that I began doing these things out of a heart of genuine thanksgiving unto GOD because I knew that He had bought me and saved me and He was worthy to have all of my mind, heart, strength, and time. And much of this was largely due to the fact that I was no longer seeking to obtain favour from GOD, but rather act upon the favour He’d already given me in His Son. I think this was around the time I began to further distance myself from the company of many of the Christians I knew for a number of reasons. Some of those reasons are: I really don’t care for large groups (by large I mean bigger than 4) because you cannot have meaningful, in depth conversations and tend to have a vast amount of short and shallow conversations with many people, the atmosphere most times I found to not be encouraging and the way people treated each other (a lot of put downs and sarcasm and jesting about things that are not fitting for the children of GOD to jest about, etc), I was really weak spiritually and earnestly desired to spend what little free time I did have to be with people to be spent in smaller groups where the conversations would be edifying and focused on things of the LORD. It was not that I thought I was ‘better’ or superior than others, GOD forbid. I just knew that if I were to be around that sort of environment, I too would begin to join in the things that I was trying to discontinue doing and things I know GOD hates and things that I had come to hate as well. I wanted so badly to serve the LORD with every thing that came into and out of my mouth and mind. I didn’t want to sin, because I know GOD hates it and so do I. So this is the reason that I began to distance myself since the summer of 2007. It was also during this time that I was first introduced to Paul Washer via his sermons. While I do not agree with everything he says there were many things that He preached about in the sermons I did hear that I really needed to hear at the time. A friend of mine had brought over a sermon by him entitled, ‘The Glory of GOD in Moral Purity’. This sermon affected me a great deal and had a lot to do with my taking GOD’s commands seriously and then by GOD’s grace working in me, beginning to do them. I began to listen to more of his sermons and felt so refreshed to hear things taught that had always been my conviction, such as; what a genuine convert looks like (i.e. a person who fears and loves GOD and loves the things He loves and hates the things He hates, and that there is no biblical basis for what some people call, ‘carnal Christians’). It was so refreshing to hear the holiness of GOD exalted and hearing the truth about my sinful and desperate condition apart from the grace of GOD. I knew that the Scripture was true when it said that we were born hating GOD, dead in our trespasses and sins and that apart from GOD regenerating us, we could never be saved (Eph 2). Titus 3:3-8: “3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. 8 The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people”.

I always believed that I was deservant of hell, and if you had asked me of course that would have been my response. The reality was that I didn’t believe I was entirely deservant of hell. And I really didn’t believe that I had always hated GOD prior to being converted. Yet, I knew Scripture doesn’t lie and the truth was that I was entirely deserving of hell and I was born hating GOD. Even if I didn’t say I hated GOD with my mouth and may have been a moral person, through my sin I professed and acted in hatred toward GOD. And in hating Him, I was a murderer as well for Christ said that if we hate someone in our heart, we are guilty of murder. The vastness of my sin and the dire straits I was in apart from Christ began to become clearer than ever before. For the first time in my life I knew and believed that GOD had every right as Creator of the universe to damn me to hell and would me completely just in doing so and that He owed me nothing! The grace of Christ became sweeter still!

During Thanksgiving time, two dear friends of mine came to Appleton to visit family. I was fortunate enough to be able to meet with them one morning and they took me out for breakfast. I am not certain how the conversation came up but one of them opened their Bible to John 10 and began to share with me about the difference between sheep and goats. It became clear to me that Christ was drawing a clear distinction between those that are Christ’s and those who are not, (something that I had been seeing a lot in Scripture and oddly enough was being further pressed upon me through my experiences in my social work classes). It became clear that a person is born either a sheep or a goat and that the sheep that hear His voice and follow Him, are those whom He had foreordained before the foundation of the world. Not only that, but that those were the one’s He had laid down His life for, not the goats. All of this was entirely foreign to me as I had never heard anything like this, yet it was right there in the text! I walked away from that several hour conversation sort of understanding what they were saying, yet not entirely sure if I agreed or not.

John 10
“1 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. 2 But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. 5 A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” 6 This figure of speech Jesus used with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them. 7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And I have other sheep that are not of this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. 17 For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This charge I have received from my Father.” 9 There was again a division among the Jews because of these words. 20 Many of them said, “He has a demon, and is insane; why listen to him?” 21 Others said, “These are not the words of one who is oppressed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?” 2 At that time the Feast of Dedication took place at Jerusalem. It was winter, 23 and Jesus was walking in the temple, in the colonnade of Solomon. 24 So the Jews gathered around him and said to him, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” 25 Jesus answered them, “I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name bear witness about me, 26 but you do not believe because you are not part of my flock. 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. 30 I and the Father are one.” 31 The Jews picked up stones again to stone him. 32 Jesus answered them, “I have shown you many good works from the Father; for which of them are you going to stone me?” 33 The Jews answered him, “It is not for a good work that we are going to stone you but for blasphemy, because you, being a man, make yourself God.” 34 Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I said, you are gods’? 35 If he called them gods to whom the word of God came—and Scripture cannot be broken— 36 do you say of him whom the Father consecrated and sent into the world, ‘You are blaspheming,’ because I said, ‘I am the Son of God’? 37 If I am not doing the works of my Father, then do not believe me; 38 but if I do them, even though you do not believe me, believe the works, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.” 39 Again they sought to arrest him, but he escaped from their hands. 40 He went away again across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing at first, and there he remained. 41 And many came to him. And they said, “John did no sign, but everything that John said about this man was true.” 42 And many believed in him there.”

In the end I just put those thoughts on the backburner and just kept reading my Bible but keeping in mind what he had said. The more I thought about it and the more I began to go through the teachings of the Pentateuch (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy) in my mind, the clearer it became. When the Israelites were commanded on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), to kill the one goat and release the scapegoat into the wilderness to provide atonement for the nation of Israel for that year, it was only for the nation of Israel, not the Canaanites or the surrounding nations; when the plagues were being poured out in Egypt, the land of Goshen where the Israelites were was spared - with the exception of the death angel – and yet the pascal lambs were provided; the sacrifices were given to the nation of Israel, nobody else. While I understood that it was not an attempt to place one people group above another as far as the Jews being ‘better’ than any other nation, but rather it was a clear demonstration of True Israel, spiritual Israel – those of the seed of Isaac (i.e. all true converts of any race or nation), refer to Romans 9.

Romans 9
“1 I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— 2 that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. 3 For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. 4 They are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises. 5 To them belong the patriarchs, and from their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ who is God over all, blessed forever. Amen. 6 But it is not as though the word of God has failed. For not all who are descended from Israel belong to Israel, 7 and not all are children of Abraham because they are his offspring, but “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” 8 This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring. 9 For this is what the promise said: “About this time next year I will return, and Sarah shall have a son.” 10 And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11 though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— 12 she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” 13 As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” 14 What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God's part? By no means! 15 For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16 So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18 So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills. 19 You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” 20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21 Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22 What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23 in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— 24 even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? 25 As indeed he says in Hosea, “Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’ and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”26 “And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’” 27 And Isaiah cries out concerning Israel: “Though the number of the sons of Israel be as the sand of the sea, only a remnant of them will be saved, 28 for the Lord will carry out his sentence upon the earth fully and without delay.” 29 And as Isaiah predicted,“If the Lord of hosts had not left us offspring,we would have been like Sodom and become like Gomorrah.” 0 What shall we say, then? That Gentiles who did not pursue righteousness have attained it, that is, a righteousness that is by faith; 31 but that Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousness did not succeed in reaching that law. 32 Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone, 33 as it is written,“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense; and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.””

Having a lot of background in the Pentateuch made the understanding of what Christ was teaching in John 10 quite easy to understand. He was really saying- He laid down His life for His sheep, He would call and save all His sheep, and He would keep His sheep until the very end. He had provided complete and full atonement for those and only those who would believe, those who He calls His sheep. We are not His sheep because we believe, but we believe because we are His sheep. This whole idea blew my mind. I didn’t quite understand all the implications of what I had just stumbled upon that GOD had graciously opened my eyes to. But I knew that if GOD had chosen all those who would be saved before the foundation of the world, there were a lot of things that I had to address in my mind. I still was unsure of what all these things meant, but I still knew and believed that GOD was truly sovereign, not partially sovereign as I had always thought (in other words, we could resist the plan of GOD and somehow hold His hands tied).

Providentially, I was reading through the book of Isaiah for my daily Bible reading. I saw the sovereignty of GOD portrayed more in that book than I had ever seen before. At the conclusion of my reading through Isaiah, I had been convinced that these things about GOD’s sovereign grace were true. When I say ‘these things’ more specifically I mean: grace is necessary, grace is promised to the sheep, grace is provided for His sheep, grace is effectual, and grace is everlasting for His sheep.

Grace is necessary:
* “We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. There is no one who calls upon your name, who rouses himself to take hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us, and have made us melt in the hand of our iniquities.” (Isa 64:6-7)
* “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” (Rom 7:18-19)
* “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.” (Rom 8:7-8)
* “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” (Gen 6:5)
* “And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God's decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” (Rom 1:28-32)
* “The wicked are estranged from the womb; they go astray from birth, speaking lies.” (Ps 58:3)
* “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots? Then also you can do good who are accustomed to do evil.” (Jer 13:23)
* “Always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” (2 Tim 3:7)
* “As it is written: None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” (Rom 3:10-12)
* “Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.” (Rom 6:16-18)
* “So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit.” (Mt 7:17-18)
* “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.” (Mt 12:30)
* “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.” (Mt 12:33-35)
* “And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.” (John 3:19-20)
* “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.” (Eph 2:1-3)
* “..your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,” (Eph 4:22)
* “Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.” (Ps 51:5)
* “Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.” (John 8:34)
* “...For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.” (Rom 14:23)
* “..walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.” (Eph 4:17-19)
* “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.” (Eze 36:26-27)
* “And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” (2 Cor 4:3-4)
* “But you do not believe because you are not part of my flock.” (John 10:26)
* “I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)
* “Therefore I want you to understand that no one speaking in the Spirit of God ever says “Jesus is accursed!” and no one can say “Jesus is Lord” except in the Holy Spirit.” (1 Cor 12:3)
* “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 6:44)
* “The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned.” (1 Cor 2:14)

Grace is promised to the sheep:
* “Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will.” (Eph 1:4-5)
* “In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.” (Eph 1:11)
* “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” (Rom 8:28-30)
* “And when the Gentiles heard this, they began rejoicing and glorifying the word of the Lord, and as many as were appointed to eternal life believed.” (Acts 13:48)
* “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Eph 2:8-10)
* “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” (John 15:16)
* “Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies.” (Rom 8:33)
* “Though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God's purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” (Rom 9:11-13)
* “What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory” (Rom 9:22-23)
* “Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.” (2 Tim 2:10)
* “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” (Col 3:12)
* “Elect...according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and for sprinkling with his blood: may grace and peace be multiplied to you.” (1 Pet 1:1-2)
* “Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.” (2 Pet 1:10)
* “For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you.” (1 Thes 1:4)
* “For many are called, but few are chosen.” (Mt 22:14)
* “But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” (1 Cor 1:27-30)
* “But we ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers beloved by the Lord, because God chose you as the firstfruits to be saved, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth.” (2 Thes 2:13)
* “Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?” (Jas 2:5)
* “They will make war on the Lamb, and the Lamb will conquer them, for he is Lord of lords and King of kings, and those with him are called and chosen and faithful.” (Rev 17:14)
* ““For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the Lord has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.” (Deut 7: 6-8)
* “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!” (Ps 33:12)
* “Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple!” (Ps 65:4)
* “So too at the present time there is a remnant, chosen by grace. But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace. What then? Israel failed to obtain what it was seeking. The elect obtained it, but the rest were hardened.” (Rom 11:5-7)
* “For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thes 5:9)
* “And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense.” They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were appointed.” (1 Pet 2:8)
* “Who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.” (2 Tim 1:9)
* “I will say to the north, Give up, and to the south, Do not withhold; bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth, everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” (Isa 43:6-7)
* “The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble.” (Pro 16:4)
* “So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy.” (Rom 9:16)
* “Then Isaiah is so bold as to say, I have been found by those who did not seek me; I have shown myself to those who did not ask for me.” (Rom 10:20)

Grace is provided for His sheep:
* “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.” (Isa 53:4-11)
* “She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” (Mt 1:21)
* “To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice.” (John 10:3-4)
* “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.” (John 10:11)
* “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:14-15)
* “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.” (Acts 20:28)
* “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” (Eph 5:25-27)
* “Who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.” (Titus 2:14)
* “Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.” (Heb 2:17)
* “When Jesus had spoken these words, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, “Father, the hour has come; glorify your Son that the Son may glorify you, since you have given him authority over all flesh, to give eternal life to all whom you have given him.” (John 17:1-2)
* “ In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” (1 John 4:10)
* “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” (2 Cor 5:14-15)
* “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit.” (1 Pet 3:18)
* “Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.” (Mt 26:26-29)
* “He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.” (1 John 2:2)
* “He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad.” (John 11:51-52)
* “And they sang a new song, saying, “Worthy are you to take the scroll and to open its seals, for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation.” (Rev 5:9)

Grace is effectual for His sheep:
* “It is written in the Prophets, ‘And they will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me.” (John 6:45)
* “Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple!” (Ps 65:4)
* “Your people will offer themselves freely on the day of your power, in holy garments; from the womb of the morning, the dew of your youth will be yours.” (Ps 110:3)
* "Unto you therefore which believe he is precious…" (1 Pet 2:7)
* “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 6:37-40)
* “Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose,’ calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it.” (Isa 46:9-11)

Grace is everlasting for His sheep:
* “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” (Ps 138:8)
* “I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him.” (Ecc 3:14)
* “Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you. I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.” (Isa 46:4)
* “I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me.” (Jer 32:40)
* “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” (Rom 11:29)
* “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil 1:6)
* “The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.” (2 Tim 4:18)
* “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.” (John 10:27-29)
* “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom 8:28-31)
* “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long;we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:35-39)
* “Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.” (Heb 7:25)
* “For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.” (Heb 10:14)
* “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” (1 Cor 15:10)
* “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” (John 15:16)
* “And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1 Cor 1:30-31)
* “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Eph 2:10)
* “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” (Phil 2:12-13)
* “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.” (1 Thes 5:23-24)
* “Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Heb 13:20-21)
* “If you know that he is righteous, If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him.” (1 John 2:29)
* “Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.” (Jude 1:24-25)
* “They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.” (1 John 2:19)
* “Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.” (Prov 26:11)
* “What the true proverb says has happened to them: “The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire.”” (2 Pet 2:22)

What it boils down to is simply this: we are all born dead in trespasses and sin, having no hope and without GOD in the world. There is nothing inside of us that can make us righteous and unless GOD births in us a new nature we cannot believe in Him or produce any fruit of saving faith. GOD births in His sheep a new nature and saving faith and we then cry out to Him. Because He has saved us and has done every aspect of saving us including provided complete and effectual atonement, He has and must keep us to the very end. It is as simple as that.

I came to this conclusion not by the vices or convincing arguments of anyone. I had not had any heavy theological discussions with anyone until long after I had come to these conclusions sometime in December of 2007. Scripture and Scripture alone are what convinced me that GOD’s sovereign grace is a reality. While I don’t know what others think of me nor what has been said about me, I know these things to be true and am willing to die for them. GOD alone has saved me, not myself. I couldn’t have had part in any aspect of it, or there would be room for boasting. Salvation is all of GOD. And it is Him who deserves all the glory. These truths continue to humble me and create more thankfulness in my heart than I ever thought possible. Knowing that it is not my job to make the gospel seem reasonable to someone and try to convince someone, has been so freeing. Because I thought it was my job to convince someone, I didn’t preach. But now that I know that GOD has promised to save all those who are His by the means of preaching the gospel, this has rightly put my confidence in GOD to do the saving work and me the joy of relaying the message of a holy GOD.

This is the story of how I came to believe and understand GOD’s sovereign grace in saving His people. While I regret perhaps not spending as much time with the people that I loved and cared for deeply, due to the fact of not wanting people trying to argue with me or put on a front toward me (yet in their hearts believing me to be in sin because of what I believed or what they thought I believed), I stayed away. There are other reasons too that I no longer felt welcome to spend time with people, so I just spent the majority of my time alone. Perhaps some think this was error or even sin, yet I was not neglecting weekly fellowship as Scripture commands us and so I believe that distancing myself for the sake of not causing strife was wise and prudent. One thing I do regret is not being able to share this with you face to face. For this and in any other way that I may have offended you, please forgive me. Once I came to believe and understand these things it was as though my entire foundation had been pulled out from under me. With the church split and many other things going on in my life I began to wonder what else I may have been wrong about. While my views on many things have changed quite drastically in the last two years, I hope that you can still look on me as your friend and sister in Christ even though we may not see eye to eye anymore on a lot of issues. I do greatly value your friendship and think of you fondly. If you have any questions about anything that I have or have not written in here, I am more than willing to talk about them. I know it is often hard for some to see others they knew very well as how the person used to be, but please recognize that I am not at all who I once was. To be completely honest, having a fresh start in Kansas was something that I had been greatly looking forward to, and still greatly look forward to wherever I eventually end up. I feel that with the people that knew me from Calvary Chapel and the other off-shoots thereof, that I will always been seen as I once was. I ask that you not remember me for who I was; a prideful, arrogant, loud, foolish, legalistic, and vain person. That is who I once was. Thanks be unto GOD that is
not who He is making me to be. I have done a lot of foolish and wrong things in the past, mainly because I believed a lot of things that were wrong- such as past relationships and how I used to act all the time without much propriety or concern and compassion for others. While I certainly do not have it all figured out GOD has graciously brought me a long way and will continue to do so until I depart from this life. Much love to you.

In His Sovereign Care,
Alison Van Lankvelt

Reflections of 2009

2009-12-31T00:00:00.005-06:00

I tend to be a person who reflects often on the events that have taken place in my life and do a personal inventory thereof. As I look back on the year 2009 I am amazed at the grace of my GOD. Over the course of this past year many things have taken place in so many avenues of life. By the grace of GOD working in me I have grown so much deeper in my understanding of who Christ is. I have become much more solid in the doctrines of soteriology, covenant theology, and many other foundational Christian truths. It has been a time of tears of mourning over sin and a growing desire for increasing godliness and a time of creating new friendships and relationships and cultivating old ones; ones that I hope to last a lifetime. There have been many struggles along the way, but Christ has been ever faithful to remind me of His promises to complete the work of grace He has started in my heart. As 2009 comes to a close I am longing for 2010 to be the best year yet in regards to spiritual growth. I have many things before me in the upcoming year: continual growth in godliness and understanding of biblical truths, taking the PCAT, applying for pharmacy school, finishing the undergrad portion of my education, the ever hopeful event of moving out of Wisconsin, and who can forget the many amazing books I am planning on reading. I am excited to see all that the Sovereign, gracious GOD has in store for me.

"For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death" (Psalm 48:14).

It is my greatest desire that GOD would be glorified in and through me for His Namesake in the upcoming year. Christ be magnified!

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

Wish List

2009-12-26T13:26:00.015-06:00

A friend recently informed me that I am hard to shop for because I don't come right out and say what things I desire to own or have. For the simplicity of others, mostly my family, I have made a 'wish list' on amazon.com and a link will also be added on my blog for future convenience.

I listened to a sermon by RC Sproul on Christmas last night that I would recommend listening to. It can only be found on his podcasts (I looked everywhere but could not find it posted anywhere else). In order to listen to it you must register for his podcasts click here and then download that sermon. The title of the sermon is 'God in Space and Time'. Hope everyone had a blessed time remembering the advent of the birth of our Saviour.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

The Loveliness of Christ

2009-12-09T09:48:00.004-06:00

I wanted to share the lyrics to a couple songs whose words have been very comforting to me lately. Both of them are by Christ our Life, you can download their music for free here.

O The Grace That Saves!
1) O the grace that saves, has appeared to every man,
For it teaches us to say no to all ungodliness,
And live self controlled and godly in the present age we’re in,
While we wait for our Savior, and the blessed hope from Him.
2) What a faithful Priest who has given up His life,
To redeem us from our deeds that are lawless in His sight.
We beheld of His glory when the Word in flesh appeared,
For He came to indwell us and of death remove the fear.
3) What shall we now say? Shall we sin that grace abounds?
Brethren, may it never be that in us this heart is found!
Let us come boldly to the throne of grace in time of need,
To find help for our troubles, and the grace that makes us free!

Christ Our Life
Colossians 3:1-4,10,12-17

I’ve been raised with my eternal King
Now Lord help me set my mind above
Not on things here that are perishing
For I’ve died my life’s in God

Jesus clothe me in humility
In Your kindness, and in tender mercies
Help me to always forgive
And to put on love

Chorus:
And when Christ our life appears
Then we will appear with Him
So we put to death our members here
So that Christ can be our life

Let Your peace rule in my heart today
With thanksgiving and longsuffering
Bearing with all things in love
Putting on the new man

Let Your Word dwell richly in my heart
Teaching others in all heavenly songs
Singing with all thankfulness
Doing all in Your name

I also wanted to share a few quotes from the book I've been recently reading, 'The Loveliness of Christ' by Samuel Rutherford which is a compilation of excerpts from his book 'The Letters'.

"I find crosses Christ's carved work that he marketh out for us, and that with crosses he figureth and portrayeth us to his own image, cutting away pieces of our ill and corruption. Lord cut, Lord carve, Lord wound, Lord do anything that may perfect thy Father's image in us, and make us meet for glory".

"It is the Lord's kindness that he will take the scum off us in the fire. Who knows how needful winnowing is to us, and what dross we must want ere we enter into the kingdom of God? So narrow is the entry to heaven, that our knots, our bunches, and lumps of pride, and self-love, and idol-love, and world-love must be hammered off us, that we may throng in, stooping low, and creeping through that narrow and thorny entry".

"I know, we may say, that Christ is kindest in his love when we are at our weakest; and that if Christ had not been to the fore, in our sad days, the waters had gone over our soul".

"Let him make anything out of me, so being glorified in my salvation: for I know I am made for him".

"Poor folks must either borrow or beg the rich, and the only thing that commendeth sinners to Christ is extreme necessity and want. Christ's love is ready to make and provide a ransom and money for a poor body who hath lost his purse. 'Ho, ye that have no money, come and buy' (Isaiah 55:1). That is the poor man's market".

"Blessed were we if we could make ourselves masters of that invaluable treasure, the love of Christ; or rather suffer ourselves to be mastered and subdued to Christ's love, so as Christ were our all things, and all other things our nothings, and the refuse of our delights. o, let us be ready for shipping against the time our Lord's wind and tide call for us".

"When I look over beyond the line and beyond death, to the laughing side of the world, I triumph, and ride upon the high places of Jacob: howbeit, otherways I am a faint, dead-hearted, cowardly man, oft borne down and hungry in waiting for the marriage supper of the Lamb. Nevertheless, I think it the Lord's wise love that feeds us with hunger, and makes us fat with wants and desertion".

"Our fair morning is at hand, the day-star is near the rising, and we are not many miles from home; what matters the ill entertainment in the smokey inns of this miserable life? We are not to stay here, and we will be dearly welcome to him whom we go to".

Grace and Peace,
Alison

A Testimony of Grace: Part I

2009-12-01T21:00:00.006-06:00

This is an updated and revised version of an article I wrote in December 2007 and sent out to every professing believer I knew, please read this edited version even if you received the old copy. GOD willing, Part II will be posted sometime in January 2010.

This is the testimony of GOD's grace from the time of my conversion at 16 years old until December 2007. My purpose for writing this is for GOD's glory and for the edification of His saints.

Psalm 105:1-5
“Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice! Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually! Remember the wondrous works that he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he uttered”.

I was sixteen years old when the LORD converted my heart and saved me from hell. When I was sixteen, the LORD by His Holy Spirit through Scripture, revealed to my heart my sin and total depravity. It was at this time that I was converted through the sovereignty and revelation of the Spirit of GOD and He enabled me to cry out to Him.

God in His providence brought a woman into my life to be His instrument to teach and instruct me in the ways of righteousness and to unfold the Scriptures to me in ways that I could understand, and my understanding of His revelation came only by His Spirit.

By this time I had gone from being a very quiet and self conscious individual to a very outspoken, truth declaring individual. It would be accurate to say that I had a lot of zeal but lacked knowledge. By GOD’s grace I finally knew the Truth and I wanted to tell everyone about this Jesus who had saved me from damnation and the wrath of GOD, what I rightly deserved.

The next giant step forward in my life was when the LORD in His providence had me move to Plainfield, Wisconsin in December of 2002, almost six months after I had graduated from high school. During my time in Plainfield, the LORD by His providence, had given me a job in which I spent the majority of my time in a car, at which time I spent most of it listening to Bible studies on tape and other sermons. My work schedule was also such that it was opposite of the few friends I did have, thus I spent the majority of my time in Plainfield alone with the LORD. In many ways the LORD matured me a lot during this season as He began to teach me to look solely to Him for my sustenance in all things.

The next huge change in my life happened during my second semester in Bible College in Murrieta, California in the spring of 2005. When the semester began I had had the most spiritually influential man in my life (at the time) go home to be with the LORD and a relationship headed towards marriage came to a bitter end. Broken and extremely bruised, I made my way back to California. The semester began the healing process for me and through a class I hadn’t originally planned on taking, Compassion Missions, the LORD used it to change my outlook on many things quite drastically. By His grace He caused me to realize more of the selfishness I carried in my heart and the LORD began to work His compassion into my heart. It was because of this class that I decided to go to Vajta, Hungary for my last year of Bible College.

My third semester was by far the best time with the LORD in my entire relationship with Him up to that point (fall 2005). After coming out of a bitter relationship headed in the direction of marriage, my ideas of marriage were very twisted and distorted to many unbiblical ideas I had received from “pop-Christianity.” Since the Church (God’s elect) is the Bride of Christ, these ideas of marriage inevitably spilled over in my relationship with the LORD. Because I did not trust Him with every fiber of my being: I did not tell Him all the depths of my heart, He was not my first love, and I did not view Him as being completely worthy of my trust (even though I knew in my mind that this was not true). Through the course of the semester and through my interactions between some of the staff members at the Bible College the LORD began to teach me the great mystery of Christ and His Bride (refer to Ephesians 5). When the LORD opened these Scriptures to my understanding the walls I had built up between Him and I came tumbling down! For the first time it was no longer terrifying to know that the LORD saw all the hidden motives and intentions of my heart. I no longer felt that I needed to hide my struggles and failures from Him but that I could confess them to Him openly and while my sin grieved Him, He would continue to forgive me and change my heart to hate sin more and more each day and see sin the way He sees it.

The LORD through His providence had me take the book of Galatians as one of my classes that semester. Up to this point since my conversion I had been mainly focused on my inability to be able to walk uprightly and in righteousness like I so deeply desired to do and there was a lot of guilt and shame in my heart because of my failures to do so. By His grace I began to understand that it was by grace ALONE that I was saved and I began to truly grasp the great and precious promise that Christ WOULD complete that which He had started in me. It was because of this truth that Psalm 139 was no longer petrifying to me, but was now comforting to me because I was able to glory in the GRACE and CLEANSING power of Christ’s blood that made me spotless and pure before Him based upon the merits of Christ. I had always been very aware of my sin and the holiness of GOD; and I knew He saw my sin and the wicked things I would think or do but instead of focusing on the gracious atonement of Christ, I was constantly focused on my guilt and lack of performance. By His grace He began to bring me out of a pharisaical (works-based righteousness) into the sovereign grace of GOD wherein He has done all the work of my salvation from start to finish.

Psalm 139:1-18:
“O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you”.

He also began to bring me into a Romans 8 walk with Himself (walking under grace that saves us from sin and causes us to desire to want to walk in righteousness out of thankfulness for His grace). During my time in Hungary the LORD healed my brokenness and bound up my wounds and set me free from a lot of lies I had received from “pop-Christianity” and the truths I learned from Scripture revolutionized my views of Christ and myself.

The year following my graduation from Bible College in May of 2006, overall, was a time in which I began to get entangled with the things of the world by focusing more on myself (in subtle ways), than I did on Christ and loving Him with all my being. My heart had grown cold towards Him and love for myself and things of this world crept back in slowly over time. It wasn’t until a major life crisis that the LORD began to really open my eyes to my stagnation.

In the summer of 2007 my heart was not anywhere near to what it ought to have been, according to Scripture, in regards to my thoughts and attitudes towards the LORD. It would be accurate to say that far too often I loved sin more than Him, rather than despising sin as a child of GOD ought. On May 28, 2007 I came home from work to find my mom on the phone talking to my brother. She stopped me and said she had something she needed to tell me. I could tell by the tone in her voice that something bad had happened. Not really in the mood to talk, I began to go upstairs when she stopped me and told me that my paternal Grandmother died that night. I was completely shocked. I went upstairs and tried to go through my emotions and the thoughts racing through my mind.

**A couple side notes to give you context: At this time in my life my parent’s and my relationship as far as closeness was concerned was very limited. I hardly told them anything about how I thought or felt because in times past we would end up arguing and eventually I stopped telling them much of anything. Also at this time I was finishing up the last week of a 3 week highly intense course at school and I had a speech to give the following morning as well as take a final exam just three days later.**

Because of the amount of things that were going on at the time I pushed aside the thoughts about my grandmother dying that I might be able to get through the week and think about things later. Throughout the week leading to the funeral I slept a total of about 15 hours averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night, if that. By the time the funeral came I could barely hold myself together; I was an emotional and psychological mess. Once my class had finished I tried to go through my thoughts and feelings about what had happened, but so many other things had been snow-balled together (including a couple major social crises) that it became more than I could bear. I had to watch two of my most beloved family members (my dad and grandfather) mourn the loss of the mother and wife they loved very dearly; that in itself was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my whole life. I had been crying out to the LORD a LOT during this time, but everything just kept building and building and the confusion and the pain I was feeling inside began to become more than what I could bear. I became extremely angry with the LORD because I knew He was entirely sovereign over my life had the ability to sort out my emotions and to bring me through all of the craziness; but from my perspective it seemed as though He was doing nothing about it. The truth is, I should have been rejoicing in His grace and in who He is rather than acting selfish and childlike as though He owed me anything. With my lack of sleep and the intense emotions going on inside of me, I nearly went insane for a short period of time. I had times of complete rage and moments of utter depression, to put it mildly I was a mess. My parents noticed my unusual behavior and became extremely concerned. Of course they wanted to talk to me about it, but because I wouldn’t tell them much of anything and felt as though they were trying to make me tell them everything going on inside of me (which was the last thing I wanted to do), I left home not knowing if I’d ever go back or where I would even go. This marked the beginning of a month long outright rebellion against the LORD. I resisted talking to Him (despite the fact that I would catch myself talking to Him and then immediately stop) and I tried my best to ignore Him. All the while I pretended to those around me that everything in my life was fine because I didn’t want to have to explain the insanity going on in my mind and heart at the time (except for a few people very close to me).

For the next two weeks I lived at a friend’s house and spent a good deal of time trying to figure out what in world was happening to me and also trying to process all the events that had recently transpired. I did recognize the fact that I was in sin and acting in ways toward the LORD that were detestable. I knew that the LORD was the only One to whom I could go (John 6:68) and I loved Him way too much to be able to ignore Him for very long. I wanted to repent and turn back to Him, but I didn’t even know where to begin.

By the LORD’s providence, He brought me to live with three girl friends, in which He was doing an amazing work of grace in all of their lives. I ended up moving in with them for a while because I knew that I needed to be in an environment that was as spiritually healthy as possible, and it was the healthiest place I could possibly have gone. Two days after I moved in with them, the LORD brought me to my knees, broke my heart, and brought refreshing tears of repentance. My hostile rebellion against the LORD came to an end and He began to change and soften my heart. Through His loving-kindness He brought me back to Himself and began to heal my brokenness and heal the consequences that my spiritual adultery had brought upon me. He also began to tear down the walls I had built throughout the years between my parents and me as well as the walls I had built between myself and everyone around me. This is a testimony that those who are His, will remain His (see John 17).

Through conversations I had with the girls I was living with as well as observing their chaste conduct in the LORD, He began to bring many convictions to my heart about the attitude of my heart and my outlook on life at the time. Though I was not living what “pop-Christianity” would call a ‘sinful lifestyle’, according to Scripture I was and I knew that things needed to change. It was late one night sometime in mid-July that by the grace of GOD He made me overwhelmingly aware of His holiness as portrayed in Scripture as well as my complete and total unworthiness and wretchedness. I realized that the majority of my life from the point of my conversion until that moment was mainly lived for my own self interest rather than the glory of GOD. I was in complete anguish at my foolishness for squandering away the time He had given me and how much of it I had spent sowing to the wind and my flesh rather than spending time doing profitable things and living in obedience to His commands. The LORD showed me the error of my ways and that my walk with Him had been just that – MINE, instead of my heart, and all that was in me being devoted to loving Him and giving Him glory. I also became overwhelmingly aware of His AWESOME HOLINESS as well as His WORTHINESS to have all of my being to do with as He desires as well as the rest of His bride. I was reminded of how Ephesians 5:27 describes Christ’s bride and how He has promised to make her, “…that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish...” Through this glorious revelation of His HOLINESS and WORTHINESS He began to turn my life upside-down and my thinking became radically changed. When I would read the Word it was like reading it for the first time and from a totally different perspective, His perspective. The LORD began to change my heart and the entire focus of my life. My focus changed from being mainly self-centered (i.e. all my energies focused upon ME so I could be a good witness for Him); to a Christ-centered and Christ glorifying focus. My focus and purpose in life became desiring to be obedient to Him out of thankfulness that HE might receive the glory due Him, because He is WORTHY. The LORD continued to teach His truths to my heart that I had known for a long time, but from His perspective, rather than a self-centered “pop-Christian” perspective. He began to teach me many things from the book of Ephesians and Colossians; things such as: what a Christian really is, what it means to follow Christ and to love Him with ALL my heart and to obey His commands, what the Church (His bride) is supposed to look like, how we as His bride are to behave, what attitudes we should have, what and how we are supposed to think, and what our speech ought to consist of. I began to live in a way that much of the "church" would describe as legalism, because for the first time in my life, I began to hate sin as the Scriptures define sin, rather than what the "church" defines as sin.

I would like to highlight some of the main things I was being challenged with at that time.

• Rejoice in the LORD always – Philippians 4:4 (In the past I would only rejoice in things that I deemed “rejoice worthy” rather than what this Scripture says; to rejoice in Him ALWAYS.

• What things came out of my mouth, especially in the area of sarcasm (which by definition means “to tear the flesh”); as well as the duty and privilege I have to ALWAYS be edifying and building up the brethren.

Ephesians 5:3a-4
“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving”.

Ephesians 4: 29
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear”.

Colossians 3:8-10, 16-17
“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator” (8-10).
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (16-17).

I began to see that Christ has made a HUGE distinction between the words and conduct of His bride versus the words and conduct of the unconverted. By His grace I came to see that by my speech and the attitudes I carried in my heart that I was blaspheming His HOLY Name, not to mention that I was not taking my role as a member of His Body seriously. The LORD is very clear that with my mouth I am to bring GLORY, HONOR and PRAISE to my GOD and encourage others to do the same. If we are not edifying the LORD or one another, we are tearing the LORD and His people down. I began to see the immense error of my ways.

• How I spent my time, what I listened to, and what I watched.

I began to see the vanity and emptiness in the things that I would do, because they were not things that glorify the LORD nor were they done in a spirit that glorified Him. Without getting into specifics, the LORD began to change my heart to “love not the world, neither the things therein” to love Him and those things that I know are pleasing to Him, because I love Him and He is worthy of ALL OF MY MIND. We have control over what we view with our eyes, what comes in through our ears, and what comes out of our mouth; and those things which come out of our mouths and lives WILL reflect what we put in. If we are sowing to the wind or our flesh, we WILL reap CORRUPTION.

During Thanksgiving break in 2007, the LORD through His WORD spoke LOUDLY to my heart about my contradiction and great hypocrisy. On the one hand I spoke of my desire to spend all of my time doing things that edified and exalted the LORD and encouraged His people, yet I spent most, if not all, of my free time sowing to the wind or my flesh by doing empty and vain things. I was reading and re-reading the book of Galatians during this time and the LORD brought to my attention a couple verses that I knew by heart, Galatians 6:7-8, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life”. The LORD began to show me my deep-seated hypocrisy in not only this area of my life, but in many others. For so long I had said the right things and outwardly done the right things, but my heart was far from Him. The weeks that followed Thanksgiving were a time in which the LORD continued to do a mighty work of grace in my life. I felt like for the first time since my conversion that He began causing me to live a life that is truly pleasing to Him and one that is victorious over sin through the working of His Spirit. I found myself longing for His courts more than any other place in the world, desiring Him to show me ways that I could encourage His Church, and asking for people to whom I could share His gospel with. During sometime in December 2007 the LORD began to bring sorrow of heart because He was showing me how much of the time He’d given me that I had spent as a Pharisee and hypocrite. But with this grievous truth He also brought with Him the songs of rejoicing; that although I wasted most of the time He’d given me, He was bringing forth much fruit in my life by His grace through the power of His Spirit within me.

I say all these things not to point to myself or to boast of my goodness, for I know who and what I am apart from His grace. I say these things to bring glory to THE KING who by His great MERCY has brought forth these things from my life and by His GRACE He will bring those things which He has started to fruition by the work of the Holy Spirit which dwells in me. I learned a great deal during the six months after the time of crisis, but two things that stick out the most in my mind are: that I am kept my His AMAZING POWER and that He is sovereign; and that He WILL complete the work of grace He has started in me. Let me encourage you brothers and sisters, Christ wants His bride and He will go to great lengths to get her that she might be TOTALLY and COMPLETELY His. We are HIS bride and He is a JEALOUS GOD. May the Lamb that was slain receive the reward for which He suffered, and may He receive her in entirety, every fiber of her being.

“Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, prisoners in affliction and in irons, for they had rebelled against the words of God, and spurned the counsel of the Most High. So he bowed their hearts down with hard labor; they fell down, with none to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death, and burst their bonds apart. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he shatters the doors of bronze and cuts in two the bars of iron. Some were fools through their sinful ways, and because of their iniquities suffered affliction; they loathed any kind of food, and they drew near to the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of his deeds in songs of joy!” -Psalm 107:10-22

“Then say to them, Thus says the Lord God: Behold, I will take the people of Israel from the nations among which they have gone, and will gather them from all around, and bring them to their own land. And I will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel. And one king shall be king over them all, and they shall be no longer two nations, and no longer divided into two kingdoms. They shall not defile themselves anymore with their idols and their detestable things, or with any of their transgressions. But I will save them from all the backslidings in which they have sinned, and will cleanse them; and they shall be my people, and I will be their God”. -Ezekiel 37:21-23

Brethren, I feel the need to make sure you do not misunderstand what I am saying in the case that you may be in the place where I once was. I plead with the Spirit to allow His words through me to come across as clearly as possible. When the LORD began to change me drastically in July 2007, it is not that prior to that time that: I didn’t understand holiness or desire it, that I didn’t know that the LORD is worthy of His bride, that I ought to conduct myself in a certain way because I was a Christian, or that I loved the world with all my heart. The reality was that I loved MYSELF more than I loved the LORD, even though I wanted to love Him more than I loved myself. I was entirely aware of what sin was/is according to Scripture, yet I chose to compromise in my speech and my time and spent it on myself rather than spend all my energy seeking to glorify Him. I guess the best way to describe it was that I knew what the Scripture said, but I still loved my sin more than I loved the LORD. Although I would never ever had said that with my mouth and I truly wanted Christ to consume all of me, He hadn’t yet done a work in me that I HATED sin so much that I would be willing to forsake all and call the “secret sins” in my life by what they were, SIN, and turn to the gracious arms of Christ. You see brethren, we do not leave the world, our sin, lives of convenience and serving ourselves simply because the Scriptures commands us to; HE converts our heart and causes us to want to forsake those things. Since I had been converted I had been trying to live a life that was according to the Scriptures through my OWN efforts and in my OWN wisdom. This is just not how it works. It is the work of Christ which causes a person to hate their sin that they would forsake themselves because they love Christ MORE than what they leave behind and they are awestruck by His GRACE. I do not regret the fact that I do not waste hours upon hours watching movies and spending my spare time partaking in vain things or any other thing that is mainly focused upon me. Through the working of the Spirit of Christ in my life and Him demonstrating His amazing love for me it has caused my heart to flee the ungodliness and vanity I once used to enjoy. It has caused me to be in constant prayer for His bride and for the words of my mouth and heart to be pleasing in His sight as He fills me with His thoughts and Words continually. My prayer for you brethren is that Christ would reveal to you His amazing love for you and that it would cause your heart to do the same thing it has done to mine and many others around me: to flee the ungodliness that we profess to be godliness and in turning away from this false godliness embrace Christ who bled and died and bore the wrath of a Holy God upon His head that He might redeem those that were His before the foundation of the world. May we walk in a manner that is worthy of the love He has bestowed upon us by the power of His Spirit working within us. May we forsake sin for the sake of Jesus, motivated by the glory of God, that He might receive the reward of His suffering; His bride. May the love of Christ compel us to be His, in word AND in deed. Our actions tell us what we have been putting into our hearts through our eyes and ears; may they only be the words of Christ and things that bring glory to His Name. While we will still have struggles throughout our sojourning here, let us continue to partake of the means through which the grace of GOD builds up our faith.

May the LORD Jesus Christ receive glory, honor, and praise through these words that have been written.

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

Holy Conviction

2009-11-19T15:24:00.027-06:00

The past couple of days I have been severely convicted about the attitude of my heart and the things coming out of my mouth. Christ said, "...For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?" (Luke 6:43-46).

These harsh words of exhortation are words that I need to hear often. Many times my actions reek of who I once was rather than who He's made me to be;

"Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. "
- 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

So often I forget the cross where Christ bore the full wrath of GOD that the Father had toward me, which Christ willingly took upon Himself for me. And in turn gave me His righteousness that He earned. Far too often my speech and conduct betray what I've been freed from (sin and death) and what I've been delivered into (life and communion with the Father). He's made me a new creature, one that now loves those things that He loves...things I once hated; and He's caused me to hate those things He hates, things I once loved.

Ephesians 2:1-9 says it best:
"And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;) And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast."

Brethren, I plead with you to consider with me our ways. Does our speech and conduct rightly reflect the new birth Christ has wrought within us? If not, we need to beg GOD for His grace to change our hearts and continue to be partaking of genuine fellowship where the gospel is preached, reading of the Scripture, and in prayer. Let us compare what the Scripture says ought to be our conduct and what we should be using our mouth for. To glorify GOD and edify one another.

"I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace...That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." -Ephesians 4:1-3, 22-32

The Scripture is clear that if we are a child of GOD, we ought to act like one. That is what the entire book of James is about. Yet how often do I fall short of this! May the LORD continue to pour out much needed grace! May He continue to change our hearts and minds to be in line with the Scripture! Remember that..."We are created to no other end, and live for no other cause than that GOD may be glorified in us", therefore, let us beseech our King to do this in and through us for His Namesake.

I also wanted to share a couple songs for your (and my) benefit.

This first song is by one of my most beloved groups: Christ Our Life, click here to download their music for free.

**NOTE: There are a couple of man's perceived images of Christ in this video, I absolutely do NOT endorse that aspect of this video. I would also like to mention that the pictures are pretty cheesy and focus a lot on this worlds' goods and hardly at all on the inward attitude of our heart. We can 'love the world' by doing such things as: desiring the praise of men, being deceitful, joining in a joke not fitting for the children of GOD, being sarcastic, thinking of ourselves more highly than we ought, being prideful, arrogant or rude...anything that would be in opposition to Christ's moral example He sets for us: to always be loving GOD first with all that we are and to love our neighbors as ourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uF24dfft9M

**NOTE: This video also has images, again, I do not support this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr7ozMKs_88

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Gracious Providence

2009-11-15T14:00:00.002-06:00

Dear friends and readers,

There have been changes in my life in the last month or two that have brought me to reconsider my former choices of relocation as this time. My re-evaluation of my choice to become a pharmacist started shortly after finishing a book called, 'Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding GOD's Will -OR- How to Make a Decision Without Dreams, Visions, Fleeces, Open Doors, Random Bible Verses, Casting Lots, Liver Shivers, Writing in the Sky, etc.', a book I highly, highly recommend by the way. Throughout the course of reading it I began to re-evaluate why it was that I wanted to be a pharmacist in the first place, if my motives were pure, and what my chief priorities in life were. I even began to seriously consider changing my major altogether so that I could be finished with college sooner. After having many conversations with people, getting wise counsel from those in the faith that I really respect, and rethinking through all of my options I had gone back to the pursuit of becoming a pharmacist; this time with my reasons more acutely defined. There was also a new twist to my decision.

Before I get into that allow me to preface why I had struggled so much with whether or not to be a pharmacist at all. For those that know me, you know that I am an extremely loyal person. When I decide to commit to something, it's 110% commitment. While this is a great trait I'm thankful Christ has put within me sometimes it can be more difficult for me to make decisions about something because once I commit it's harder to back out of that decision if I change my mind. With a huge commitment like going to pharmacy school (the time: 5 more years, the immense amount of memorization and studying, the money, etc); I didn't handle this decision lightly at all, which one shouldn't. I have lived in two different countries, two different states, and three different cities or towns since I graduated from high school less than 10 years ago. While I do greatly look forward to putting my roots down somewhere I haven't yet found a place that I desire to do so. And until I do, I don't want to feel land-locked to any certain location. While to some people this may be a silly reason, there are a lot of reasons that go beyond surface level as to why I would have a hard time staying in a location that I didn't really want to stay in. I will not get into those 'beneath the surface' reasons at this time. It was because of my uncertainty of where I want to put my roots down that I began to more seriously consider doing Creighton's Distance Learning Pathway, the only online pharmacy program in the country. Once I was fully decided upon doing pharmacy, this path seemed to make the most sense. By doing an online pharmacy program it would allow me the freedom to relocate when and where I desire to go and not depend upon whether or not they had a school of pharmacy in their city/town. This was a huge relief for me.

Once I had made the decision to go the online route, I began to seriously consider the costs of going to Kansas this January. Within a matter of days it seemed extremely unwise to move to Kansas in January given the extra costs and other various and important reasons. By not going to Kansas in January, I will be saving more than $20,000. Yes, that's the right amount of zeroes. And yes, that's only for two semesters of undergrad. My main reason for going to Kansas in January was to attempt to convince them that I had every intention of making Kansas my new home (which I had fully intended to do) as well as increasing my chances of getting into KU for their pharmacy program. However, once I had decided to do the online school of pharmacy I had no reason to move there now and pay out of state tuition if I wasn't planning on attending their University at all. I have decided to commit to staying in Wisconsin for this next spring semester and most likely the following fall semester (2010) until my undergraduate credits are completed. After that, it is my desire to relocate to a warmer climate within the same latitude as I had previously decided upon.

It is still possible for me to end up in eastern Kansas after I finish at UW Oshkosh, but I have no guarantees. While Kansas still ranks as one of my top choices of places to relocate to there are a couple other areas that have more recently peaked my interest, but nothing has been determined as it's too far away to be setting any decisions in stone. I really believe my decision to be the best route for my education considering my circumstances and stage in life. Pharmacy seems to be the best fit for me with what my chief priorities in life are and through my re-examination this has become more clear to me than ever. But, we shall see where GOD's gracious providence will cause me to go. Thanks for your prayers and patience with me as I try and figure out what I'm doing with my life academically. And as a disclaimer...all of this could change tomorrow, lol...but I certainly hope not.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

P.S. To those of you in Wisconsin, I am overjoyed that the LORD has given me more time to spend with you.

Don't Waste Your Life

2009-11-13T14:07:00.003-06:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBJzUnxiKwA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9N01-mNO0us

Colossians 3

1If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God.

2Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

3For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.

4When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

5Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

6For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:

7In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them.

8But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.

9Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

10And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

11Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all.

12Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

14And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

17And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

18Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

19Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

20Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

21Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

22Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God;

23And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;

24Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

25But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Let us not grow faint or be weary!

2009-11-11T16:45:00.012-06:00

The past few days I have been disgusted with my lack of diligence in both partaking of the means of grace and my studies, not to mention the lack of mulling over GOD's word like I ought and am accustomed to doing. I continue to preach to myself the things that I know are true and begging GOD for grace to long for Him as is proper for the child of GOD. It will come. In the meantime I have purposed in my heart to partake of the means of grace until He brings about a change in my heart and then continue partaking thereafter. I was brought to sobering tears as I listened to this song by Jars of Clay on my way home from the gym today. Be encouraged dear brethren if you find yourself in a similar situation. Let us remember what we know to be true: that Christ is the Sovereign King of all things, and that work which He has begun in us (namely our salvation and sanctification), He has promised to complete! Let us press on in partaking of the means of grace GOD has provided for His children (Bible reading, prayer, corporate fellowship with like-minded believers for the hearing of the gospel and where GOD is exalted, and the sacraments). May we confess our inability and beg GOD for faith to believe that He will do all that He has promised; then let us trust that Christ will do it and walk in that truth.

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

Here is the song I alluded to:

Jesus, I Lift My Eyes
Redone by Jars of Clay

When sins and fears prevailing rise
And fainting hope almost expires
Jesus to Thee I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires
Are You not mine, my living LORD
And can my hope, my comfort die
Fixed on the everlasting WORD
That WORD which built the earth and sky

Chorus:
Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I breathe my soul's desires
Jesus, I lift my eyes
To Thee I lift my eyes

Here let my faith unshaken dwell
Immovable the promise stands
Not all the powers of earth or hell
Can e're dissolve the sacred bands

CHORUS

Here oh my soul
Thy trust repose
If Jesus is forever mine
Not death itself that last of foes
Can break a union so divine

CHORUS

Happy Reformation Day!

2009-10-31T00:00:00.006-05:00

Last year I wrote an article for Reformation Day (to read it click here) for the sake of not wanting to re-write what I've already written, please refer to that article. I also happened upon some really great and short clips on youtube which explains the story of Martin Luther. Which if you've only seen the modern version of 'Martin Luther' you may have missed out on. I highly recommend the 1950s version because it's a lot more accurate. The last clip is from the that version. Hope you enjoy them!

Grace and Peace,
Alison

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLYo8FBqNcw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfiz_osJXuE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKU63zZLOjQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xQsCtpcj_E

Some Words of Exhortation

2009-10-30T00:00:00.004-05:00

On a brief break from homework I decided to go to monergism.com and see what articles I might find that would be beneficial to me. I found an article whose title caught my eye. I know that I am so often guilty of doing this very thing and need to be reminded of what the Scripture teaches.

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God". James 1:19-20

Ten Reasons to Listen to Questions Before You Answer
OCTOBER 25, 2005 — FRESH WORDS EDITION
BY JOHN PIPER

Meditation on Proverbs 18:13
“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.”

1. It is arrogant to answer before you hear. Humility does not presume that it knows
precisely what a person is asking until the questioner has finished asking the
question. How many times have I jumped to a wrong conclusion by starting to
formulate my answer before I heard the whole question! Often it is the last word
in the question that turns the whole thing around and makes you realize that they
are not asking what you thought they were.

2. It is rude to answer a half-asked question. “Rude” is a useful word for Christians.
It means “ill-mannered, discourteous.” The New Testament word for it is
aschēmonei. It is used in 1 Corinthians 13:5 where modern versions translate it,
“Love is not rude,” but the old King James Version has “Love doth not behave
itself unseemly.” This means that love not only follows absolute moral standards,
but also takes cultural mores and habits and customs into account. What is polite?
What is courteous? What are good manners? What is proper? What is good taste?
What is suitable? Love is not indifferent to these. It uses them to express its
humble desire for people’s good. One such politeness is listening well to a
question before you answer.

3. Not answering a question before you hear it all honors and respects the person
asking the question. It treats the person as though their words really matter. It is
belittling to another to presume to be able to finish their question before they do.

4. Careful listening to a question often reveals that the question has several layers
and is really more than one question. Several questions are all mixed into one.
When you see this, you can break the question down into parts and answer them
one at a time. You will not see such subtleties if you are hasty with your answer
and not careful in your listening.

5. A question sometimes reveals assumptions that you do not share. If you try to
answer the question on the basis of your assumptions without understanding the
questioner’s assumptions, you will probably speak right past him. If you listen
carefully and let the person finish, you may discern what he is assuming that you
do not. Then you can probe these assumptions before you answer. Often, when
dealing at this level, the question answers itself. It was really about these deeper
differences.

6. Questions usually have attitudes as well as content. The attitude sometimes tells
you as much as the content about what is really being asked. In fact, the attitude
may tell you that the words being used in this question are not all what the issue
is. When that is discerned, we should not make light of the words, but seriously
ask questions to see if the attitude and the words are really asking the same
question. If not, which is the one the questioner really wants answered?

7. Questions have context that you need to know. So many thoughts and
circumstances and feelings may be feeding into this question that we don’t know
about or understand. Careful listening may help you pick up those things. It may
be that there is just a small clue that some crucial circumstance is behind the
question. If you catch the clue, because you are listening carefully, you may be
able to draw that out and be able to answer the question so much more helpfully.

8. Questions are made up of words. Words have meanings that are formed by a
person’s experience and education. These words may not carry the same meaning
for both you and the questioner. If you want to answer what they are really
asking, you must listen very carefully. When the possibility exists that their
question is rooted in a different understanding of a word, we will be wise to talk
about the meaning of our words before we talk about the answer to the question.
I find that talking about the definitions of words in questions usually produces the
answer to the questions.

9. Proverbs 8:13 says it is our “folly” to answer before we hear. That is, it will make
us a fool. One reason for this is that almost all premature answers are based on
thinking we know all we need to know. But that is “foolish.” Our attitude should
be: What can I learn from this question? The fool thinks he knows all he needs to
know.

10. And finally Proverbs 8:13 says that it is our “shame” to answer before we hear.
What if you are asked publicly, “My wife and I have had serious problems and we
were wondering . . .” and you cut the questioner off by giving your answer about
the value of counseling and what counselors might be helpful. But then they say,
“Well, actually, what I was going to say was, “My wife and I have had serious
problems and we were wondering, now that our counseling is over and things are
better than ever, how you would suggest that we celebrate?” Then you will be
shamed for not listening.

Stay Tuned...

2009-10-28T17:55:00.005-05:00

Greetings brethren in the Name of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ!

It has been a while since I've actually sat down and written anything of substance on here. I have been so busy with school lately and trying to keep up with my book reading and other projects that I am working on. In the last couple weeks I finally finished the last confession of faith that I planned on reading before finalizing my own confession of faith. While it has taken many, many months I am hoping to have it posted sometime at the end of December. I have My Confession of Faith nearly completed and also need to add all the proof texts for each point. Adding proof texts is going to be a very laborious task, but one that I expect to be extremely edifying and beneficial. When it is posted I hope that many of you will actually read it, be challenged, encouraged, and leave comments or thoughts you might have. One warning is that it will be quite lengthy...quite lengthy. It will not be all inclusive in that I will not be addressing what I believe about everything known to mankind, that would be a bit overwhelming and take the rest of my life to write. While it did take me quite some time to narrow down which doctrines I wanted to include and those which I wanted to have left out for the sake of time, I have included those things which I believe to be the most important to me at this time and to be published. Those issues left out of this Confession will be handled at later dates to be sure as I have no intention of ceasing to write articles.

'Why write a Confession of Faith?' - You might ask. Many reasons really. One reason is to be able to concisely layout those things which I hold to and would gladly give my life for and also for my own benefit. Knowing what you believe about certain doctrines is one thing, but putting it on paper and being able to support it using Scripture alone is quite another thing. I have heard it said that you don't really know and understand something until you are able to explain it to someone else. I would whole-heartedly agree with that statement. There have been times in my life in which I thought I completely understood something, then when asked about it was unable to give an answer and realized that I didn't truly understand it at all!

I would encourage all of you to write your own confessions of faith. May it be a time of searching the Scripture to see what they say about GOD, man, and His plan of salvation. Please pray for me as I finish this document as I have never taken on any endeavor with quite this magnitude. And please pray that the LORD would give me the time to complete this as I have been having a hard time finding time to put into it between school and work. I am greatly anticipating the completion and outcomes of this document! :)

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Music Recommendation

2009-10-24T01:03:00.006-05:00

I am subscribed to monergism.com's updates on the sales they are running, book recommendations, newest items, etc. I always like to browse through them to get insights as to what books I might want to add to my quite extensive reading list. This past week there was an album they were notifying us about which sounded like it would be really great and I had to go check it out. Oh man! This is definitely by far my most favorite album whose theme is the Advent of Jesus Christ. It's called 'The Word Became Flesh', by: Dan Goeller, Heidi Goeller, and R.C. Sproul. It's a combination of hymns, Scripture readings, and symphony music. All I can say is WOW! Go take a listen by clicking here.

While I'm not at all in favor of the Roman holiday Christmas, I do believe we ought to celebrate and rejoice in the advent of the coming of the LORD Jesus Christ on a daily basis.

"...And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." Matthew 1:21

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

KU Here I Come!

2009-09-21T18:55:00.003-05:00

I got an e-mail today notifying me that I had been accepted as an undergraduate pre-pharmacy student for this spring semester at KU!!! WA-HOOO!!! Thank you to all who have been praying for me. I would ask for your continued prayers as I continue to wait to find out whether or not I have been accepted to live in the scholarship halls. Living in those halls at least my first semester there would be very helpful in meeting people, finding my niche in the community, and a lot of money and time trying to find off campus housing while being in school and residing here in Wisconsin. Thanks brethren!

Charis and Shalom (Grace and Peace),
Alison

'Mourning' with C.H. Spurgeon

2009-09-18T13:49:00.006-05:00

This morning I listened to one of the podcasts that I have of 'Morning and Evening with C.H. Spurgeon'. I was brought to sobering tears of repentance and humility this morning. Listen to it here: http://www.godcast.org/mp3/me/mande0409d.mp3

It also brought to mind some of the verses from one of my favorite hymns.

Rock of Ages

1 Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From thy riven side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure,
Cleanse me from its guilt and pow'r.

2 Not the labors of my hands
Can fulfil thy law's demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears for ever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and thou alone.

3 Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to thy cross I cling;
Naked, come to thee for dress,
Helpless, look to thee for grace;
Foul, I to the Fountain fly;
Wash me, Saviour, or I die.

4 While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyelids close in death,
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See thee on thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee.

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

California Raisins

2009-09-17T12:06:00.005-05:00

In my microenconomics class today we had a fill in professor for part of the lecture because our assigned professor had a committee meeting with the chancellor today. We were working on an exercise on shifts in supply and demand curves and one of the questions had to do with an increase in demand for wine and it’s affect on the raisin market. The fill in professor told us how in the 70s there was an increase in the demand for wine and so suppliers were sprouting up all over in California. Then in the 80s the demand for wine began to plateau, and then they had a surplus in raisins (all the grapes not being used for wine began to be made into raisins). He asked if anyone knew how they handled the excess in raisins. Since most of the students in class probably hadn’t even been born at the time of this raisin surplus, I said, “The California Raisins!” For those of you too young to remember, that is the right answer. I remember being five or six years old and sitting in McDonald’s with my grandparents and playing with the plastic figurines of the California Raisins that came with my Happy Meal. Haha! I think my Grandmother also collected the whole set for us too as I remember my brother and I having several of them. Who knew that the cartoon and figurines had to do with a surplus of raisins in California! When I got home from class I had to look them up on youtube and found these videos (and there are many others!). I would like to dedicate the third video to Rachel and Julia. Enjoy! :)

(If the videos don't appear on your screen, click on the links to view).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM2OK_JaJ9I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGLp9c_pNh8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSQRGdFJg_4

The Waiting Game

2009-09-10T20:58:00.010-05:00

As some of you may (or may not) know, it has been my earnest desire to leave the bitter cold of Wisconsin for, shall we say - greener pastures - for sometime now. It has been a couple years coming now since I began looking into what region or area I hope to put down roots in. For those of you that 'traveled' this road with me; it's changed from Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, West Virginia, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, to finally somewhere in the Midwest.

Once I had a region narrowed down, I began looking for pharmacy schools at a latitude that was warm enough so that I wouldn't be freezing for nine months of the year, yet wouldn't be so hot I had to take three showers a day, haha. I narrowed my search down to three schools: KU (in Lawrence, KS), Creighton (in Omaha, NE) and UMKC (in Kansas City, MO). Before I left on my three day trip with my dad this past June to visit the aforesaid Universities, I was leaning heavily toward KU based upon what I saw and read online about the area and what the University had to offer. After driving through eastern Kansas, visiting KU and checking out Lawrence, I fell in love with the area. View a short clip here: http://www.ku.edu/whyku/. And it is now my hope to make Kansas (more specifically eastern Kansas), my future home for as long as GOD is willing.

As of Tuesday, September 8, I got my last transcript sent off and am now waiting to see if they will accept me as an undergraduate transfer student for the spring semester of 2010. I plan to finish my last year of pre-pharmacy requirements there and then apply to their School of Pharmacy for the fall of 2011. Brethren, would please join me in prayer as I wait upon the LORD to see where His gracious providence will direct me?

Here are some photos of campus and surrounding areas in Lawrence.

Mass(achusetts) Street

Mass Street again

For those of you viewing this via facebook, if the images don't show up you'll have to view my original post to see them. www.insackclothandashes.blogspot.com

In other news...the school semester has officially started and my classes are now totally underway. I have high hopes of this semester being a great one, in which Christ will teach me many things in and outside of school. More to come later.

Grace and Peace be with you brethren,
Alison

Some Exhorting Quotes

2009-09-06T23:22:00.003-05:00

I happened upon one of the documents on my computer this evening entitled 'Quotes' and I promptly opened it up to see what quotes I thought were worthy to be remembered. I thought I would post a couple of them here for your benefit.

"How few of the Lord’s people have practically recognized the truth that Christ is either Lord of all or He is not Lord at all! If we can judge God’s Word, instead of being judged by it, if we can give God as much or as little as we like, then we are lords and He the indebted one, to be grateful for our dole and obliged by our compliance with His wishes. If on the other hand He is Lord, let us treat Him as such. “Why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?” - 'Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret (P. 229).

“On Him then reckon, to Him look, on Him depend: and be assured that if you walk with Him, look to Him and expect help from Him, He will never fail you. And older brother, who has known the Lord for forty-four years, who writes this, says for your encouragement that He has never failed him. In the greatest difficulties, in the heaviest trials, in the deepest poverty and necessities, He has never failed me; but because I was enabled by His grace to trust in Him, He has always appeared for my help. I delight in speaking well of His Name” - 'Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret' (P. 151).

“I have often urged my young friends, when faced with an adversary, to ‘play polo’ with him; i.e., not to go at him baldheaded but to ride side by side with him and gradually edge him off your track. Never lose your temper with him. If you are in the right there is no need to, if you are in the wrong you can’t afford to. In a difficult situation one never-failing guide to ask yourself: ‘What would Christ have done?” Then do it, as nearly as you can.” -Baden-Powell (Creator of the Boy Scouts).

“GOD has given you a body – no, He has lent it to you – to make the best use of; not to soak it in drink, not to make it limp and weak with debauchery, but to take care of, to strengthen and build up into a really fine figure of a man and a father of children. You can do this if you like. It is up to you. And what a splendid adventure it can be.” Baden-Powell.

“You can memorize scripture. Many people think they have a bad memory, but it’s not true. As we’ve already discovered most of the time memorizing is mainly a problem of motivation. If you know your birthday, phone number and address, and can remember the names of your friends then you can memorize Scripture. The question becomes whether your are willing to discipline yourself to do it.” – Donald S. Whitney 'Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life'.

"Fight to be holy in all respects. Forget past failures; they are crucified. You are under grace, and the man who sinned has died. Lunge at opportunities to love Him.” -Michael Spotts

To My Brothers

2009-09-01T22:58:00.004-05:00

I've been reading Nehemiah in my daily Bible readings and providentially came across this partial message on youtube tonight where it sounds like Paul is referring to that book as an encouragement and exhortation and thought I would pass it on to all my dear brothers in the faith.

The Exceeding Sinfulness of Sin

2009-08-24T22:32:00.010-05:00

It has been a while since my last blog post. This summer has been a really busy one for me. Sorry to all of you who were anticipating the release of my second album this month, that's taken a back burner for the time being. I have the majority of the songs written, I'm still just working on the music aspect...always the hardest part for me. I have no idea when it will come out as the fall semester will be starting soon. So, hold that thought :)

I've been doing quite a bit of reading this summer which has been very edifying and beneficial both to my soul and my brain. I've been thinking about quite a number of topics lately, which LORD willing will become future blog entries after I've had sufficient time to meditate and mull them over. The topic most recently in my mind is the title of this entry, 'the exceeding sinfulness of sin'. My friend and I were discussing how our conception of sin is so drastically different from the way GOD sees it. The book I am currently reading is, 'The Holiness of GOD' by R.C. Sproul (a book that I highly recommend). In GOD's good providence, today I was reading the chapter entitled, 'Holy Justice', which talked directly about this subject. So many times we view GOD as being unjust when He punishes sin, yet the reality is we all deserve death, both physical and spiritual. It is only by His GRACE that we are not consumed. The Scripture says that, "the soul that sins shall die", yet far too often (if not all the time), we think that GOD owes us grace merely because we are used to receiving it. How arrogant we can be! And yet, how often I find myself not really thinking about the implications of my sin and what message it sends to GOD and to the world. I once heard it said that, "sin is like sticking a revolver in the face of GOD". A thought that makes me shudder.

O, that GOD would open our eyes to the EXCEEDING sinfulness of sin as GOD sees it! That He would humble our haughty self-serving hearts in the dust that we might loathe ourselves and plead for grace from on High! GOD grant us the grace to see the secret sins, or the sins we so often cast aside as 'not being a big deal', that we would repent and weep in sackcloth and ashes. GOD, give Your people hearts that hate that which You hate, and to love that which You love. Cause our hearts to be broken and contrite, living in complete and utter dependence upon You alway. Remind us daily that it is by Your grace that our lungs continue to fill with air and our hearts continue to beat. Our sin is transgression of Your holy law, which Your Son Jesus Christ fulfilled. If we be in Christ, You have given us His righteousness as if it were our own. LORD, You have been truly gracious. May You make me truly thankful. Cause us to live a life of continual repentance for Your Namesake and glory.

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

I Agree!

2009-07-24T10:38:00.004-05:00

I came across some, 'Answers from Pastor John' on youtube the other day and I wanted to post one that I found to be encouraging for all of us.

For those of you reading this entry via my facebook feed, I would encourage you to visit my actual blog at: www.insackclothandashes.blogspot.com to read more articles that I have written.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Greatest Story Ever Told

2009-07-22T00:36:00.005-05:00

I recently purchased one of my new favorite albums, 'Storiez' by Shai Linne. It's another phenomenal work of lyrical and musical talent with a strong doctrinal message in every song. I give it a 10 of 10. :) I wanted to post the lyrics and the song itself for your edification.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

Greatest Story Ever Told

Each of our lives is a story. And with each new person we meet we become a part of their story, and they become a part of ours. The GOD who created the universe has somehow woven together these billions of stories into one story, which is the greatest story ever told.

Alright check it: let’s go back in time, brethren. Divine lessons always keep your mind guessing. The glory of the Triune God is what I’m stressing. The origin of humankind was fine. Blessings were plenteous. God is amazingly generous. Crazy benefits in a state of innocence. God told the man what he could taste was limited. Not long after came our nemesis in Genesis. He scammed well, man fell, damned to hell. The whole human race - he represented it. Fooled by the serpent, man through his work, woman through birth - even the earth ruled by the curses. But instead of a wake immediately. God said her Seed would be the One to crush the head of the snake. Yo, wait what is this? Whoa, a gracious gift! In Jehovah’s faithfulness He clothed their nakedness. This was so they would know their Savior’s kiss and bliss. But first, many growing pains exist suffering in the worst form, ugly deeds. Eve’s firstborn seed made his brother bleed. Indeed things got progressively worse. Every section of the earth is been affected by the curse. And though God’s judgments against sin were gory, praise the Lord! It’s not the end of the story.

It's the greatest story ever told.
A God pursues foes whose hearts turned cold.
The greatest story ever told.
Restoring all that the enemy stole.
The greatest story ever told.
The glory of Christ is the goal, behold.
The greatest story ever told.
It's the greatest.

Next scene: man’s sin was extreme. God gets steamed, man gets creamed. The Lord is so Holy that He drowned them in the water. Fire in the valley of slaughter - Sodom and Gomorrah. But at the same time, He’s so gracious and patient that from one man He created a whole nation. Eventually enslaved by the mentally depraved, they cried out to the only One with the strength that He could save. He brought them out with signs and wonders - satisfied their hunger. Then He appeared on Mount Sinai in thunder. Where He laid down the law for God-ruled government. Commonly referred to as the Mosaic covenant. Sins imputed. So for man to know he’s unrighteous, God instituted animal sacrifices. This was to show our constant need for atonement. And when it came to sin, the Lord would never condone it. And when His people disobeyed and went astray, He raised up prophets and kings to lead them in the way. But they would get foul with their idolatry - wet and wild prophecy - send them into exile. To take their punishment like a grown man. Then with His own hand He placed them back in their homeland. And while in their forefather’s land they dwelt, they awaited the arrival of Emmanuel.

It's the greatest story ever told.
A God pursues foes whose hearts turned cold.
The greatest story ever told.
Restoring all that the enemy stole.
The greatest story ever told.
The glory of Christ is the goal, behold.
The greatest story ever told.
It's the greatest.

After 400 silent years filled with sighs and tears. In Bethlehem the Messiah appears. God in the flesh - Second Person of the Trinity. At thirty begins His earthly ministry. Baffling cats with accurate, exact facts and back to back miraculous acts. A stumbling block to the self righteous. But the humbled - His flock, said "There's no one else like this." He came from heaven to awake the numb. Demonstrated His power over nature, son. A foretaste of the Kingdom and the age to come. But the reason He came was to pay the sum for the depths of our wickedness, our wretched sinfulness. Bless His magnificence! He is perfect and innocent. Yet He was wrecked and His death. He predicted it. Next He was stretched, paid a debt that was infinite. He said that He finished it. Resurrected so the elect would be the recipients of its benefits. Through faith and penitence we get to be intimate. His grace is heaven sent, it never diminishes. Now the Holy Spirit indwelling is the evidence for heaven's future residents who truly represent Jesus, the Author, Producer, Director and Star of a story that will never, ever end!

It's the greatest story ever told.
A God pursues foes whose hearts turned cold.
The greatest story ever told.
Restoring all that the enemy stole.
The greatest story ever told.
The glory of Christ is the goal, behold.
The greatest story ever told.
It's the greatest.

Come Out From Among Them And Be Ye Separate

2009-07-13T13:46:00.003-05:00

I re-read this Scripture list today and was encouraged and exhorted once again I and I wanted to share it with you all. This list was compiled by my friend Abraham Juliot and posted on his blog. The only verse I would add would be to the 'Music of the World' section;

Ecclesiastes 7:5 - "It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools."

Let us consider our ways and remember that to those of us who be in Christ, we have been freed from the condemnation of the Law, but that does not mean that Christianity is lawless or that we are to live lawlessly.

Psalm 40:8 - "I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart."
Psalm 119:8 - "Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law."
1 John 5:3 - "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous."

Come Out From Among Them, and Be Ye Separate
Compiled by: Abe Juliot

2Co 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.

1Jn 5:21 Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.

1Jn 2:15-17 Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever.

1. The Music of the World

Jas 4:4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Jhn 7:7 The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth, because I testify of it, that the works thereof are evil.

Rom 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

Rom 3:11-12 There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

Rom 14:23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

Psa 50:18 When thou sawest a thief, then thou consentedst with him, and hast been partaker with adulterers.

Eph 5:7-8 Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:

2. The Movies of the World

Psa 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.

1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

Rom 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

Psa 7:11 God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day

Psa 11:5-6 The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth. Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and a horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup.

Psa 11:7 For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright.

Psa 9:17 The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.

3. The Words We Speak

Psa 12:3 The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things

Psa 34:13 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.

Psa 35:28 And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.

Psa 37:30 The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.

Psa 119:172 My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness.

Psa 120:2 Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue.

Mat 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Mat 12:37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

4. The Thoughts We Have

Psa 10:4 The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek after God: God is not in all his thoughts.

Psa 94:11 The LORD knoweth the thoughts of man, that they are vanity.

Psa 119:113 I hate vain thoughts: but thy law do I love.

Psa 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Pro 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.

Pro 24:9 The thought of foolishness is sin: and the scorner is an abomination to men.

Pro 30:32 If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth.

Isa 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.

Isa 65:2 I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people, which walketh in a way that was not good, after their own thoughts

Mat 15:19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies

Act 8:22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.

5. How We Spend Our Time

Eph 5:14-21 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Gal 6:10 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Col 4:5 Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time.

Pro 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.

Psa 25:5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.

Psa 71:24 My tongue also shall talk of thy righteousness all the day long: for they are confounded, for they are brought unto shame, that seek my hurt.

Religion or Relationship...or both?

2009-06-29T22:26:00.010-05:00

The subject of this blog entry is one that I have been thinking on and mulling over for quite some time now and have finally had a chance to sit down and start putting my thoughts into words on a screen. In the past I would have said a hearty 'AMEN!' to a statement such as; "It's not a religion, it's a relationship". I would like to point out the flaws in this statement and then draw out my own conclusions as to what a more accurate description ought to be.

First, let us define what 'religion' means. According to Webster's 1828 version of the dictionary the word religion is defined as:

RELIGION, n. relij'on.

1. Religion, in its most comprehensive sense, includes a belief in the being and perfections of God, in the revelation of his will to man, in man's obligation to obey his commands, in a state of reward and punishment, and in man's accountableness to God; and also true godliness or piety of life, with the practice of all moral duties. It therefore comprehends theology, as a system of doctrines or principles, as well as practical piety; for the practice of moral duties without a belief in a divine lawgiver, and without reference to his will or commands, is not religion.

2. Religion, as distinct from theology, is godliness or real piety in practice, consisting in the performance of all known duties to God and our fellow men, in obedience to divine command, or from love to God and his law. James 1.

3. Religion, as distinct from virtue, or morality, consists in the performance of the duties we owe directly to God, from a principle of obedience to his will. Hence we often speak of religion and virtue, as different branches of one system, or the duties of the first and second tables of the law.

Let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religion.

4. Any system of faith and worship. In this sense, religion comprehends the belief and worship of pagans and Mohammedans, as well as of christians; any religion consisting in the belief of a superior power or powers governing the world, and in the worship of such power or powers. Thus we speak of the religion of the Turks, of the Hindoos, of the Indians, &c. as well as of the christian religion. We speak of false religion, as well as of true religion.

5. The rites of religion; in the plural.

For those of you looking for a more 'modern' definition, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines religion as such:

Main Entry: re·li·gion n.

1 a: the state of a religious (a nun in her 20th year of religion) b (1): the service and worship of God or the supernatural (2): commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance2: a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices3archaic : scrupulous conformity : conscientiousness4: a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith

As you can see the word religion by definition is not what I had always been taught it meant, 'man's attempt to earn salvation or favor before GOD'. In actuality, Biblical religion is a great thing! What genuine convert of Christ's would argue that Biblical Christianity is not a 'system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith' or that Christianity is not 'consisting in the belief of a superior power governing the world, and in the worship of such power'? I like how Webster even defines what religion is not, "...for the practice of moral duties without a belief in a divine lawgiver, and without reference to his will or commands, is not religion," in other words, religion is NOT the same thing as being moral, for to separate GOD from His commands is no religion at all.

Personally I can understand people's misconception to a false understanding of what the word 'religion' means. But let us use it properly. Perhaps this misconception comes from a desire to make a distinction between ourselves and the Roman Catholic church or other false religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Atheism (which usually ends up being a religion of sorts whether it be a worship of self or the course of nature as being a 'higher power' as in the case of those who believe in macro-evolution), Selfism, etc. The desire to make a distinction between the Truth and error is good, but let us use words that mean what we intend to say.

Secondly, I'd like to expose the grave error of the aforesaid statement. By using the word 'or' one is denoting that Christianity must be one OR the other and that it cannot be both and that religion and relationship oppose one another definitely. However, based upon the definition given earlier this does not always have to be the case. While it is true that there are many who are very zealous about their religion, it does not necessitate that the individual has a genuine relationship with the One Triune GOD spoken of in Holy Writ. As was stated in the fourth definition of Webster's 1828, religion can also apply to false religions. But let us not negate the fact that true religion is coupled with a genuine relationship with the LORD our GOD. For we cannot separate the worship of GOD through obedience from having a relationship with Him. Those of us who have been 'accepted in the Beloved' (Ephesians 1:6) and now have a relationship with GOD are no longer under the demands of the ceremonial or civil law of GOD due to the fact that Christ has fulfilled it, the book of Hebrews is very clear on this point. Yet, we as Christians remain under the moral law of GOD, which finds its summation in the Ten Commandments. Relationship with the Father does not mean that we are then to go on and live lawlessly because we are declared righteous because of Christ's atonement on our behalf. GOD forbid! On the contrary, Scripture teaches that the fruits of a genuine believer whom GOD has converted has fruits of righteousness, namely a love for GOD and the things He loves and a hatred of sin and the things GOD detests. So you see dear friend; true, genuine, Biblical Christianity is BOTH a religion and a relationship, not one or the other.

For those of you still wary about the word 'religion', may I remind you that our brother James defines religion for us in James 1:27;

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

To that I say a hearty, "AMEN!"

By the grace of Christ working in us and by partaking of the means of grace, may we keep ourselves unstained from the world flowing out of love for Him who has done this for those of us who believe: "...and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." (Romans 3:24-26).

I think it is best summed up in Romans 6:
1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3 Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. 7 For one who has died has been set free from sin. 8 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. 10 For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. 11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. 13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. 14 For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.
Slaves to Righteousness

15 What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16 Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, 18 and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. 19 I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

20 For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 21 But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And finally,
"...exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." (Hebrews 3:13).

Let us continue to encourage and exhort one another daily.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

3 Schools, 3 States, in 3 Days

2009-06-22T10:48:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow in the wee hours of the morning my father and I will be boarding the plane that will take us to Milwaukee and then to Omaha where we will begin our three day adventure of visiting my three choices for Pharmacy Schools. Excitement doesn't even begin to describe how much I am looking forward to this trip. It will be a more fast paced trip than I would like, but it's the most efficient way to go about things. We have our first visit to Creighton in Omaha, NE tomorrow. Afterward we will drive nearly five hours south to Lawrence, KS and spend the night there. The next morning we have a visit at KU right there in Lawrence and we'll spend the rest of the day scoping out the town. Bright and early the next morning we'll make our way to UKCM (University of Kansas City Missouri) for our last stop. Afterward we'll book it to the airport back in Omaha. Whew! Please pray for safety in the air and on the roads. I am hoping to gain some insight as to whether or not I would like to attend these schools, so please be in prayer about that as well. I am hoping to make a final decision about when and where I will be moving as a result of this trip, so in a way there is a lot riding on this trip. GOD's Sovereign hand will lead me of course, so there isn't any real anxiety about making a 'wrong' decision. Watch for updates as I hope to at least post some photos and blurbs from the trip while on the road.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

When it rains, it pours...

2009-05-13T20:49:00.007-05:00

Well, I had my first final exam of the week this afternoon. It was for trig and I believe it went quite well. I find myself on a short break from studying for my WWI and Modern Civ essay exams I will be taking tomorrow (your prayers are much appreciated). I am enjoying the rain (and occasional thunder) storm that is going on outside. Nature has a way of causing me to stand in awe and in fear of GOD like nothing else does. Paul in the book of Romans speaks of how creation is a testimony of GOD, how true it is! 12:30pm on Friday, May 15 my long awaited summer vacation will commence. Originally my father and I were going to be taking a 5 day trip out to West Virginia to look at 3 schools, which turned into one school. However, it's been three weeks since I put in a campus visit request and they have yet to get back to me, so we are looking into canceling our trip as I recently found a third school in the Midwest that is much cheaper than West Virginia University that I am more interested in attending. The thought of being almost 1,000 miles away from 'home' without knowing anyone within a reasonable day's driving distance is a bit intimidating to me, especially since I couldn't really find any good churches that hold to reformed soteriology. I am going to be moving on Friday (yes, again), back to Appleton for the summer. The LORD has provided a room for me to rent in Oshkosh during the school year at a reasonable price and I won't have to stay there during the summers which is very convenient and I am super thankful for that.

I have quite a rigorous summer planned for myself in regard to books I want to read, sermons to listen to, starting to study for the PCAT, catching up on chemistry and anatomy, attending some cultural and historical events, a couple trips, and learning all I need to know about gardening. I also have a couple extensive blog entries that I plan on writing so keep an eye out for those. And I am hoping to release my second album sometime in August, your prayers for that project are much appreciated.

I've been reading Colossians lately and been thoroughly enjoying it. I am continuously amazed at the wisdom and sovereignty of GOD. I suppose that that concludes my updates for any of you out there that care to know the events and musings of my life at present.

Grace and Peace,
Alison

A Night to Remember

2009-04-26T20:34:00.009-05:00

Last night was an extremely random night. Not random in that it was outside of GOD's providence, but random in the fact that things that don't ever really happen to me, happened to me in a matter of a couple hours.

It started off with going to my friend Michael Glaze's house to view this weeks' 'episode' of The Truth Project. It wasn't until I left his house that the sequential randomness began. I called my best chum, Erin Alderson to see if she wanted to go get some Mexican food at Hacienda Los Compadres, which we recently discovered was open until 2am Thursday-Saturday. Of course she was game. I picked her up and we went and had an amazing Mexican meal, about as close to authentic non-Americanized Mexican cuisine you can get in the area. By the way, my fish taco was phenomenal. The randomness began when we left to go to Wal-Mart. I got pulled over by a cop. The first words out of Erin's mouth as we were pulling over was, "You're not even speeding...why is he pulling you over?" [I don't really ever speed] Me: "I think it's probably because I have a headlight out." I ended up receiving a citation and 15 days to get it taken care of. Then I have to bring it to the Police Station (which I don't even think I know where it is for certain) and get an officer signature and mail in the card the officer (the one who pulled me over) gave me.

Then, we got back to my parents' house and I realized that I had never put my house keys back on my cari-beaner after taking a walk the day prior. The neighbor had the spare key and the only one that I thought might still have a spare key that I had given her a long time ago was my friend Leah. I tried calling and texting her, but her phone was silenced as I had presumed it would be. I tried to semi-break into my parents house, but the way I thought I could get in, I could not without doing any damage. Our house is like a steel cage, good thing :) I was not about to call the neighbor at 12am (the hour it was at this time), so Erin and I tried to decide upon what our plan was now going to be. (My parents were out of town and that is why I didn't just call them or ring the doorbell for those of you wondering). Since Erin's roommate and our friend Julia has burned incense in their apartment, I cannot go there even for a moment without getting an instantaneous migraine, so that was not an option. I had learned from Erin just a few hours earlier that Julia was house sitting for some friends of ours and so I asked Erin if she thought it might be possible to stay there. She called Julia and it was A-ok. So we headed over.

There was another random event that occurred but I will refrain from disclosing it here, but it was not a great thing and I was not too happy about it. By the way, my attitude toward all of these events is complete bewilderment.

We get there and it is definitely time for bed. We get ready for bed and I go to take my contacts out. I grab the contact solution sitting on the counter in the bathroom and squirt it into a cup after placing my contacts in it. For those of you that know me, without my optical correction lenses, I am pretty much blind. I noticed that the consistency of the solution was almost gel-like and I looked more closely at the bottle (which is about 3 inches from my eyes because like I said, I'm practically blind without glasses or contacts. I then realized that I had just put my contacts into a bath of solution for hard contacts and quite possibly just ruined my only means of vision and if I could not manage to get a hold of a key the next day, I was going to be in BIG trouble. I yelled, "AHHHHHH!!!!" (one of those, 'I can't believe that just happened' sort of yell). Thankfully my friend Brittany came to the rescue with her soft contact lens solution (which is what I needed) and I was able to rinse them off and store them for the evening.

The next morning I found that my contacts had not indeed been ruined and they were in perfect condition. My friend Leah returned my call and texts that I had sent her the night before asking her if she had my spare key. She said she thought she did. So I went racing over to her house, back to mine to shower and change and made it to church just on time. Talk about a providential evening/morning! These are the kinds of things that hardly ever happen to me, and yet make for great stories. Hope you enjoyed the random adventures I had last night.

In other news...

Finals are coming upon us at good o'l UW Oshkosh. Your prayers are greatly appreciated as I finish up my first year of pre-pharmacy pre-requisites. For those of you wondering where I'm planning on going to school and when I'm moving, I have no idea yet. I'm still praying and plan to make my decision at the end of the summer. Please keep that in your prayers also.

The grace of our LORD Jesus Christ keep and sustain you in love of Yeshua.

Soli DEO Gloria,
Alison

Happy Pesach!

2009-04-08T10:57:00.008-05:00

In honor of Pesach (Passover), I wanted to re-post an entry that I posted on October 22, 2008. Tonight I will be celebrating Pesach for the first time with a few friends of mine. I celebrated it last year by myself, but I didn't want to make a giant meal just for myself so it was more of a 'remembrance day' for me. I would recommend that you all listen to Spurgeon's sermon: Christ our Passover. Listen to it here. I think it is a very fitting message for today. I wish you all a happy Pesach and happy Feast of Unleavened Bread which is to follow Pesach. Let it be to us a reminder that GOD has called us out of the world and to Himself, applying the blood of our Pesach Lamb to our hearts, giving us the faith to believe and a heart desiring repentance from sin and marriage with the world to be married unto Him in an everlasting covenant. Praise be unto Him who has done all these things for His Father's glory!

Also, enjoy this amazing video that gives an overview of the Exodus.

THE GOSPEL OF PEACE
October 22, 2008

(This post was actually begun on October 3, 2008, and today I just finished it, so the timing of when I was actually reading Luke, was not indeed this morning).

I was reading the end of Luke chapter 19 through the beginning of chapter 20 this morning. Verse 1 of chapter 20 says, "And it came to pass, that on one of those days, as he taught the people in the temple, and preached the gospel, the chief priests and the scribes came upon him with the elders," I am going to stop the text right there. It goes on to say how the elders confronted Jesus about by what authority He was doing these things. The point I want to draw from this first verse is the word GOSPEL.

When I read that word, my mind was jogged to a verse out of Psalms that the apostle Paul quotes in the book of Romans chapter 10 and verse 15, "How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!" I began to muse about why the Scriptures say that it is "the gospel of peace". I began to think about what the message is, and why it would be referred to as this. My mind was then brought to how when Christ purchased my salvation with His blood, that it was in fact the appeasement of GOD's righteous wrath that He had towards me. Think back to the Pesach (Passover) lamb that was slain for the nation of Israel. The blood atoned for the nations' sin for that year. The same is true of us, only the Holy Lamb of GOD has not only brought atonement for His people (His bride) for a year, but He has made complete atonement once and for all. The writer of Hebrews states, "For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?" (9:13-14) and again "For [it is] not possible that the blood of bulls and of goats should take away sins" (10:4). Complete atonement has been made for all those that come to Him, to all those that believe. That wrath has been appeased for me. This is why it is the gospel of peace. Because of the blood of Christ and Him saving me, I am no longer at war with GOD, but I am at peace with GOD.

The Scriptures teach that from the moment we are conceived that we are at enmity with GOD. What does that mean exactly? I have come to understand that we are warring with GOD and no part of us desires or can come to Him apart from Him giving us a new nature, one that would cry out, "Abba Father!" It is only after this new birth that we are able to cry out to the One who is now our Father. Whereas before, we only cried out to the wicked one, our father. We were dead in trespasses and sins and were children of darkness,

"For ye were sometimes darkness, but now [are ye] light in the Lord: walk as children of light" (Ephesians 5:8). And you [hath he quickened], who were dead in trespasses and sins; Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)" (Ephesians 2:1-5).

"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father" (Romans 8:15).

He alone has purchased salvation and peace with GOD. This is why it is the gospel of Peace. Praise the LORD for His grace towards us!

Christ, would You open our blind eyes to see this truth that we might glorify You more than we do now? May Your grace continue to be lavished upon us for Your Namesake. Remind us daily of what we are apart from Your Sovereign grace and of how we deserve nothing but the righteous wrath of Your Father. But upon no merit of our own, You have chosen to extend grace to those You have chosen before the foundation of the world. I thank You my righteous King, my Redeemer and my Pesach lamb. Soli DEO gloria Y'shua Ha Mashiah, (Jesus the Messiah).

Leaving on a Commerical Bus, I Know When I'll Be Back Again...

2009-03-20T09:02:00.013-05:00

Ok, so it's not as catchy as the 'leaving on a jet plane' line, but I tried. Haha. I amuse myself. Seeing as it's nearly 2 hours later than I wanted to be in bed this evening, I will have to make this a short entry. I am leaving tomorrow morning at 5:30AM for the Everglades on a biology field trip through school. We will be studying the wildlife there and mainly focusing on birds, and other animal and plant life. We will be spending two full days hiking and observing plant life; one day canoeing and checking out the mangroves; one day we will spend in the Keys snorkeling in the reefs; and a few early mornings going bird watching. I am really looking forward to the trip as I am a big fan of the outdoors and nature. Our itinerary for the trip seems to be a relaxed pace which suits me perfectly as I like having things to do but having room to breathe. All that is required of us to earn our two credits is attending a few lectures (which we've already done) and then keeping a journal while we are there which includes documenting the plant and animal life that we observe on our trip. I am also looking forward to being able to get some reading in. I am bringing the copy of 'Confessions and Creeds' with me that my friend Mike Spotts gave me, and LORD willing finishing 'The Sovereignty of GOD' by: AW Pink. I will also be working on my last blog entry that I have left half finished. After briefly creating an outline last night for my blog entry, I am now anticipating it taking several weeks for me to complete. But it will definitely become part of my exhaustive version of my Confession of faith that I will LORD willing be working on over the next several years. It shall be interesting just going from memory as I will not have access to my trustworthy blueletterbible.org to do Scripture reference searches. So, I am quite looking forward to my 'down time' on this trip to be able to study and sharpen my faith. I am also praying that if GOD would be so gracious to allow someone to hear the gospel from my lips that He would bring that to pass. It has been quite some time, I am ashamed to say, since I last preached the gospel. One of the reasons for this is because I wanted to make sure that what I was preaching is biblical and how the disciples preached the gospel and what doctrines they focused on so that I can follow their pattern. The plan is to return back on March 29th at noon, so please be praying for me while I am on this trip with about 30 other students. Thank you for your prayers brethren.

Here are some pictures of the Everglades:

For Whom Christ Died

2009-03-19T11:12:00.003-05:00

I will attempt to explain in further detail using Scripture alone as my basis for coming to the conclusion that Christ died only for His Bride, as it was Scripture alone that has brought me to this conclusion. Most of it Old Testament, but honestly, I see it everywhere in Scripture. But for now friends, I leave you with a song that helps explain the reasoning and logic as we follow the teaching of Scripture on this subject. Enjoy :)

Brought to Praise

2009-03-13T23:09:00.004-05:00

This week has been a really rough week for me. It has been a combination of things I suppose that have all been compacted together to form situations that are both stressful and frustrating to me. It's been really cold this week, and for those of you that know me well, I really do not like cold weather. Which is one of the main reasons I have been trying to move out of this climate to a warmer one as soon as possible. I had two exams and a paper due in the beginning of the week and I felt unprepared for one of the exams. Both of them went well though. I ended up getting really sick on Wednesday, just woke up with some kind of cold or something. I felt so sick on Thursday that I called in sick to work, something I've never done in my whole life. It was weird, I had body aches, chills/cold sweats, sinus headache and a terrible sore throat. I pumped myself full of vitamins and slept a lot and I'm feeling a lot better today, though I have not fully recovered. I suppose I can throw out a new word I learned this week in my microbiology class, I'm in the 'convalescence stage'. That's means that I'm getting better. :) On top of the academic stress and then getting sick, I have been stressing out over my possible move to West Virginia in January of 2010. I am planning on moving to Morgantown to finish my undergrad and then attending their pharmacy school. We shall see where GOD's providence leads me. The thing about the move that has been stressing me out is all the unknowns. For me the biggest thing is being in a place where I don't know anyone. Not having my best friend, my parents, or the families I've gotten to know well at church (i.e. my entire support network) within a 30 minute commute is going to be a difficult hurdle for me. I'm concerned about not being able to find a church where I agree with their doctrine enough to be able to attend there and also making friends there as well as at school. I'm not really good at going up to people and introducing myself, etc. But I know I will be in a position where I will have to force myself to be outgoing otherwise I won't meet anyone. Just the thought of that stresses me out, haha.

So, what is the point of me writing all of this? Patience little grasshopper, I am getting to that. :) Through my struggle this week, the LORD has reminded me of several things. Firstly, the importance of having Scripture memorized. I remember laying on my bed feeling physically terrible and in my mind I was complaining and asking why I was sick. And then 1 Thessalonians 5:18 came to mind, "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." And so I began to thank the LORD that His plan was to have me get sick at that time because He is good and all things that come from His hand are for His good, and that's all that matters. Secondly, He reminded me of the importance of preaching to ourselves. I received an e-mail from a good friend of mine with some disappointing news. I found myself writing a letter of encouragement to her today and I ended up being really encouraged by the things I wrote to her about the sovereignty of GOD. As I walked to class I was reminded of how over and over again recorded for us in the Psalms David preaches to himself. "Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance" Psalm 42:5. The LORD was gracious to remind me today of His complete sovereignty over my life. Even if I should move to Morgantown, WV next January and not meet anyone or make an real connections for a time and things don't work out as I hope they would, that is in His plan and I will praise Him still. He is worthy, so very worthy to receive all praise and honor.

GOD may You receive glory from the trials and difficult times I've gone through this week. Thank You for the Truth of Your WORD. Continue to sanctify Your bride for Your glory Father.

Since Fall 2007

2009-03-05T14:01:00.009-06:00

In November of 2007 I felt the need to begin using the gift of the pen that the LORD had given me to edify the LORD and His Church. I began by writing an article entitled, 'Since My Conversion' and e-mailed it to every professing believer that I knew (if you would like to read it, post a comment with your name and e-mail address and I will send you a copy. All my comments have to go through me before they are published so your information will not be published). From time to time I have felt that I needed to continue the story of grace that GOD is continuing to write in my life. Perhaps this summer when I have some more time I will endeavor to do this. In the meantime I would like to post some Scripture verses that speak of what a regenerated person looks like as well as some of my own commentary. The reason for posting this is because being daily surrounded by mostly humanistic or atheistic ideas and concepts it is an exhortation that I personally need to hear daily. I need to be reminded that the One to Whom I belong has called me to live a lifestyle so drastically different from what I see everyday for His glory and Namesake empowered by the grace of GOD. I need to always be reminded that GOD is HOLY and MAJESTIC, and that in His grace He has chosen to make His Bride a representation (morally) of His Son - for His sake. What an amazing and humbling thought, that GOD would take the lowest of the low and use us for His glory. Astounding.

Before I get into the 'meat' of what I am desiring to say please allow me to preface my understanding of Scripture with how I came to these conclusions. For those of you that have read the article I wrote entitled 'Since My Conversion', my life has changed dramatically since the fall of 2007. Sometime in the fall of 2007, my friend [name omitted] and I were spending a great deal of time together on weekends and such. One evening she brought over a sermon for us to listen to. It was "The Glory of GOD in Moral Purity' and Paul Washer was the preacher. It was that sermon that began to challenge every aspect of my life in a very direct way. As some of you know, my training and background since the LORD saved me was being a very active member of a church called Calvary Chapel. I was very well versed in the Scripture, yet for as much as I knew in my head, there was only a shadow of what ought to be being enacted into my life. I knew the verses that I am going to share in a moment, but yet, to me...they were almost just a 'cliche'. I did regard them as GOD's Words and commands, and yet I did not daily practice them. Much of this was because the LORD yet had an amazing work of grace to do in my life to bring these things to fruition. It was not that I did not desire these things before, it just seemed altogether impossible for me to do. I wanted more than anything to be holy and to please the LORD and do what He said. I would weep over my sin and and failings to do what He had commanded. But all for the wrong reason. I wanted them for me, not for Him. That is what the huge change was in the fall of 2007. Before then, my life was lived for my and trying to be the best witness for Christ, that I could be. If you had asked me, of course I would have said that I wanted it for Him, but looking back, I realize that this was not true. Did I want the praise of men? I don't know, I am not really sure. All I know is that before that Fall, I was more concerned about myself than I was for His Name, and I didn't even realize that.

In the fall of 2007 I was in my first semester of social work classes and was facing a lot of things in those classes that I was having to pray through and search the Scripture to see what my opinion of things was supposed to be according to what GOD said about it in the Word. It was during that semester of searching and praying that the LORD began to show me the drastic difference of what the life of the believer is to look like in comparison to that of the unbeliever. My first semester of Bible college I specifically took all the classes that were offered from the Penetuch (the 5 books of Moses, Genesis-Deuteronomy). I was taking all of them except Exodus, and that was only because it wasn't offered. During that semester I learned a lot about the divisions GOD had made between what was 'clean' and 'unclean'. These lessons were mainly in Numbers and Leviticus. Those books are so applicable to the believer because they touch on every aspect of life. As I was sifting through that previous training of 'clean' and unclean' and reading my Bible like crazy searching for what it meant to be a Christian, how I was supposed to act, what my speech should look like, how I am to treat others, how I am to love GOD, how I am to love my neighbor, the workplace, and on and on...just about everything you could think of. You see, I had to figure out what I was supposed to look like, because I had no idea what it really said because I'd never searched it out for myself and I was in a place of wondering if I had ever been taught anything that was biblical. I'd been to thousands of Bible studies and heard all the verses and knew in my brain what it said about those issues, but I'd never sat down and studied it for myself. Which is why when I was writing that article, it didn't take a whole lot of prep time, I knew all those Scripture verses. And yet, I wasn't doing them.

The changing point for me was when the LORD birthed something new in me. The understanding that my life was truly NOT my own, but it was His. And that everything...EVERYTHING was all about Him getting glory. He opened my eyes to the fact that when I sinned, I was bringing His Name that is blessed forever, down in the dirt. I knew this before, but it had never horrified me like it did when the LORD began to open my eyes to His Holiness and Majesty like never before. I was brought from a place of, "yes, I should be doing those things, but it's hopeless to ever be able to do all those things..I mean, no one around me really lives like that, so it must not be possible." To a place of, "hello! The people that are written about in the Bible didn't have supernatural powers to be able to do and walk and live the way they did, GOD did it in them. And if He did it in them, He can do it in me, and He WILL do it in me, for He has promised to sanctify me and make me more like His Son (morally) for His own sake, not for mine!" This was the greatest news. I didn't have to 'try so hard to muster up the desire to do what was right all the time'. He did it in me. I no longer wanted to have anything to do with sin, for His sake...not mine. I hated sin before, otherwise I wouldn't have been a genuine convert...but I had a Pharisaical attitude about it. I wanted to be holy and righteous for my own sake, because it was right. Now I wanted those things because I didn't want to blaspheme GOD and I wanted Him to be glorified. I would also say that my view of GOD prior to the Fall of 2007 was a lot smaller than it started to become and currently is today. This was a work of grace He wrought in my heart. The Scripture verses that follow are only a smattering of verses that are the cornerstones of what Scripture states that a child of GOD is to look and act like. Over and over and over I again I began to see the clear cut distinction between what is 'clean' and 'unclean'. I tried not to make the verses I included too lengthy, and please do read them.

From Matthew 7
13Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: 14Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it. 15Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves 16Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

From Ephesians 4
17This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, 18Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: 19Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. 20But ye have not so learned Christ; 21If so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; 23And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; 24And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. 25Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.26Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: 27Neither give place to the devil. 28Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. 29Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. 30And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

From 2 Cor. 6
14Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 17Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. 18And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty. 18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. 19What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

Psalm 19
14Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

From 1 John 2
3And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments. 4He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. 5But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. 6He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked. 9He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now. 10He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. 11But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes. 15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever. 28And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming. 29If ye know that he is righteous, ye know that every one that doeth righteousness is born of him.

From Col. 3
1If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. 2Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. 3For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. 5Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: 6For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: 7In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. 8But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. 9Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; 10And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: 11Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all. 12Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. 15And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

From Ephesians 5
1Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. 3But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 4Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. 5For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 7Be not ye therefore partakers with them. 8For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 9(For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) 10Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. 11And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. 12For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. 14Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. 15See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; 20Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; 21Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

From 1 Thess. 5
14Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. 15See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. 16Rejoice evermore. 17Pray without ceasing. 18In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 19Quench not the Spirit. 20Despise not prophesyings. 21Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. 22Abstain from all appearance of evil. 23And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

From Galatians 6
7Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. 9And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. 10As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

Psalm 1
1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Eccl. 7
5It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools.

From Luke 6
39And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch? 40The disciple is not above his master: but every one that is perfect shall be as his master. 41And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? 42Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye. 43For a good tree bringeth not forth corrupt fruit; neither doth a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 44For every tree is known by his own fruit. For of thorns men do not gather figs, nor of a bramble bush gather they grapes. 45A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh. 46And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say? 47Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: 48He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. 49But he that heareth, and doeth not, is like a man that without a foundation built an house upon the earth; against which the stream did beat vehemently, and immediately it fell; and the ruin of that house was great.

To me it's not about just 'doing what's right', it's doing what's right because it's what GOD has said is right and I want to do what is right that He might be glorified. He is my treasure, He is my life, my very sustenance. If He were but to remove His hand, I would go back to what I was before: a wretched sinner who didn't care the slightest about Him or His glory. Sanctification is a work of grace in a man's heart. This can only come through GOD prompted prayer and GOD graciously changing a man's heart as he reads and studies Scripture. A wise friend once told me that GOD will not allow us to be sanctified when we are not partaking in the means of grace (i.e. studying the Scripture, prayer, and genuine fellowship) because He doesn't want us to become comfortable not partaking of Him. The longer I walk with the LORD, the more true this statement becomes to me. May GOD continue to give us the grace and change us that we would mourn over our sin because it is blasphemy against the very One who gave us life, breath and eternal life. When all we truly deserve is His wrath for all of eternity. Praise be to Him who alone is worthy to have all of His bride in every respect. I have also attached a picture of a poster that I purchased when I was in Israel that hangs on my bedroom wall and serves as a daily reminder of who I am and to Whom I belong. In the bottom left hand corner you can see a notecard, on it I have written out 1 Cor. 6:14-18.

I also wanted to post a couple short youtube videos that go along nicely with the theme of this blog entry.

GOD bless and keep you in the love of Yeshua.
-Alison

Music Video

2009-02-16T19:01:00.004-06:00

I was bored a couple weeks ago and thought about the idea of making a quasi-music video to one of the songs. So, I compiled a bunch of photos taken during my time at Bible college. I hope you enjoy it :)

Betrothed To Jesus

2009-02-06T01:23:00.004-06:00

I am excited to say that Abraham Juliot, one of my favorite musicians, has released his latest album, 'Betrothed To Jesus'. Go to this site to download the album for free. Be sure to check out the live interview as well!

In Yeshua,
Alison

Roe v. Wade

2009-02-05T00:43:00.007-06:00

Hello to all my avid or not so avid readers!

I am pleased to say that the semester is going very well thus far :) I have the luxury of taking two, yes TWO, history courses this semester. Since I have taken a semester off from chemistry, I ended up having to take 2 other courses in it's place to meet the full-time student status. History was about the only thing I could get into at short notice that I didn't need pre-requisites for and was interested in taking. True, it is a lot of reading, but I really enjoy it so homework is pretty enjoyable for me. You can't always say that on the college level!

Anyhow, my friend Mike Spotts recently posted a couple youtube videos on his blog that I really enjoyed. So, for the sake of those who don't want to go searching through his blog to find it, I'll post them here for your convenience.

And I thought I'd add one that I found that I really liked. I think it nails the issue on the head.

And this is a song by a rapper whose mother almost had an abortion. It's definitely worth listening to.

Perhaps this is a good time to post a speech that I gave two years ago on the Roe v. Wade position. This is the note that I posted on facebook around the time I gave the speech.

Hey guys, I had to do this presentation for my Political Science class that I'm taking. We gave our presentations today. Before having done this assignment, well, and reading the book "The Atonement Child" by Francine Rivers, I had never really looked into this court case before. I had always believed that abortion was wrong and actually couldn't have told you the name of the case that made it legal. Basically, because I was ignorant (which means unaware, not that you don't care about something). Anyway, after doing quite a bit of research and talking to those that know a great deal more about this than I do, this is the presentation that I ended up giving. I am open to listen to anyone's comments, even if they are not congurrent with my view. I guess the issue really comes down to when life begins. Before you answer that in your mind, answer this question first. Does the potential of a person determine whether or not they are alive? Because people will argue that an egg and a sperm are both alive, however, my point is, that until they unite, there is no potential for life. The egg is like a seed, dormant until given the proper conditions. Once those conditions are met (i.e. fertilization) you have what science textbooks call, a zygote. Which according to science is the beginning of life. So with that said, my presentation. P.S. My footnotes are not visible, so if you have any questions as to where I got any of my information from, feel free to ask me. I did include my bibliography at the end as well.

Roe v. Wade

On January 22, 1973 in the Roe v. Wade decision, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down all laws in every state that in any way had protected the lives of developing unborn children. It stated that the law protects only "legal persons" and that "legal personhood does not exist prenatally" (i.e. a child is not legally a child until it exits the womb). It legalized abortion in all 50 states and declared that the right to privacy was "broad enough to encompass a woman’s right to terminate her pregnancy."

The Preamble of the Constitution states, “We the people of the United States of America, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
How can we secure the blessings of liberty to our posterity if a quarter of our posterity do not make it out of the womb alive? It is quite obvious that the intent of our Constitution was to preserve life and improve it. Nowhere within the document do you find anything about destroying or damaging it. Although the right of privacy is implied in the Bill of Rights, it ought not to include a woman to have the right to abort her child. If there is abuse of any kind going on in a family, it is not considered to be against their privacy for the state to take the necessary actions. Why then is it considered against a person’s privacy to ask that she be unable to take the life of her unborn child? 1 in every 4 of our generation is not with us today because they were aborted . 1.5 million abortions occur annually in the United States alone, and since the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision, over 35 million children have been aborted. Obviously, something needs to be done.

So, is it a child, a “blob of tissue” or “fetal matter”? To give you a better idea of what goes on within the womb, here is a brief timeline of child development: On day 1 conception takes place, this is when life begins, according to Ronan R. O'Rahilly and Fabiola Müller, authors of the textbook, The Developing Human: Clinically Oriented Embryology . After 7 days the child implants in mother’s uterus. After 18 days the heart begins to beat. Within 3 weeks they can pump their own blood through a separate closed circulatory system. After 4 weeks the ears, eyes and respiratory system begins to form. In 6 weeks, brain waves can be detected, the skeleton is complete, and reflexes are present. After 7 weeks the baby is able to suck his or her thumb. In 8 weeks all of the child’s body systems are present and you can hear their heartbeat with a stethoscope. Within 9 weeks they can squint, swallow, move their tongue, and make a fist. After 11 weeks they have spontaneous breathing movements, fingernails, and all their body systems are working.
As you can see, this is not just “a blob of fetal matter”, but a growing, living child. And according to our Constitution, they are guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness just as much as you and I. Do we really want to pass on to the next generation that preserving life is a matter of choice, rather than a duty and an honor? Is it a lack of taking the responsibility for one’s action that keeps abortion legal, or is it simply the silence of those of us that know this is wrong?
In reality, both parties are equally guilty.

The Roe v. Wade decision claims to have been made for the benefit of the mother, but what about the effects the abortion has on the mother? If the Supreme Court is unwilling to refer to a child as being a child until he or she exits the womb, then at least for the mother’s sake they ought to reconsider this court decision. There are many effects that abortion has on the mother; physical, emotional, and mental. According to national statistics, 10% of women undergoing induced abortion suffer from immediate complications, of which one-fifth, or 20%, were considered major. Cervical damage is very common and increases the risk of miscarriages, premature births, and complications of labor during later pregnancies by 300 – 500%. When you apply the statistic of the risks of increased pregnancy loss on the population as a whole, it is estimated that women lose 100,000 "wanted" pregnancies each year because of having had an abortion in the past. These are just some of the major and most common physical effects that abortion has upon the mother.
There are not only physical effects, however, but almost worse are the psychological and emotional effects. Studies show that within the first few weeks after the abortion between 40 - 60% of the women questioned report negative reactions. Within 8 weeks after their abortions, 55% expressed guilt, 44% complained of nervous disorders, 36% had experienced sleep disturbances, 31% had regrets about their decision, and 11% had been prescribed psychotropic medicine by their family doctor. In another study of 500 women who had had an abortion, researchers found that 50% expressed negative feelings, and up to 10% were classified as having developed “serious psychiatric complications.” “Among the most worrisome of these reactions is the increase of self-destructive behavior. In a survey of over 100 women who had suffered from post-abortion trauma, 80% expressed feelings of self-hatred. In the same study, 49% reported drug abuse and 39% began to use or increase their use of alcohol. Approximately 14% had described themselves as having become "addicted" or "alcoholic" after their abortions. In addition, 60% reported they were suicidal, with 28% actually having attempted suicide, of which half attempted suicide two or more times” (http://www.abortionfacts.com). It is quite frequent that after an abortion, women suffer a range of both mental and psychological problems. These may include recurrent dreams of the abortion experience, avoidance of emotional attachment, relationship problems, sleep disturbances, guilt about surviving, memory impairment, hostile outbursts, suicidal thoughts or actions, depression, and substance abuse. These problems may occur days to years later. As you can see a simple abortion has far more implications than what some would want the public to know.

Where does the Father fit in to all of this? According to the Roe v. Wade decision, only the mother has the legal right to terminate her pregnancy. She does not need to inform the father of her pregnancy nor of her decision to have an abortion. Legally, neither the father, nor anyone else, has any rights or say in the matter whatsoever. The law is concerned solely with the mother and completely disregards the statement in the Preamble that says that one of the goals of the Constitution is to “insure domestic tranquility.” By disregarding the father or even the grandparents of the child is clearly not insuring domestic tranquility, but rather almost ensuring domestic conflict.

Throughout my research there were many other objections and reasons people gave as to why they believed abortion ought to remain legal. As I continued to look into their cases and the statistics surrounding their stance, I found them to be not as justifiable as they might have seemed at first glance. One major argument many people have is the issue of rape. However, pregnancies due to rape are very rare. There are about 170,000 rapes that take place each year in the United States, and in only 170 - 340 of these cases does the woman become pregnant. It is also reported that less than half of those women who do become pregnant have an abortion. As far as the woman involved is concerned, we need to think of the state that she is in at this point. She has been a victim of a terrible act of violence. Should we then ask her to add another act of violence upon another innocent victim? It is true that half of this child is part of the man that raped her, but half of the child is also a part of her. What she needs right now is love and support from her family and friends rather than a “quick-fix” that will actually cause only more emotional and physical problems in the future. If the reason for her wanting an abortion is because she is unable to bear the responsibilities of raising a child at that point in her life, there is always the option of adoption.

This brings me to my final point, adoption, clearly the better option. Currently there are about two million couples waiting to adopt a child. Of these couples, each of them would like to adopt two or three children if possible, and many are willing to take hard to place children or those with disabilities. At the current 1.5 million abortions taking place each year, if each one of those children was adopted instead of aborted, you would still have half a million couples waiting to adopt a child. Through adoption, all parties win. The mother will not have to deal with the physical effects, or the emotional or mental byproducts of knowing that she has ended the life her child. The child wins because he or she is alive. And the couple wins because they now have the longed for child that they were unable to conceive or another addition to their family.

In closing I would like to remind you that our Constitution makes it quite clear that its intent is to protect and promote life, not to destroy it. Although the Roe v. Wade decision claims to be protecting the woman’s right to privacy, in all reality if you consider the repercussions of her having an abortion, the negatives are so numerous that the “benefits” are almost non-existent. Sure, she is no longer pregnant, but this could also be accomplished in nine short months with the same outcome except one involves life and the other death. Considering all the health risks involved it makes the whole process not worth the risks or the emotional or mental scars that will inevitably last a lifetime.

Bibliography
Moore, K. and T.V.N. Persaud. 1998. The Developing Human: Clinically Oriented Embryology (6th ed.), W.B. Saunders Company, Philadelphia, pp 2-18.
Deem, Rich. “Abortion–Life, Right, Choice?–Secular Arguments Against Abortion.” [Online] 21 May 2007. .

Monahan, Michael. “What is Planned Parenthood.” [Online] 22 May 2007. .

Willke, Dr. and Mrs. J.C. “Why Can’t We Love Them Both, Chapter 20, Maternal Complications.” [Online] 19 May 2007. .

Willke, Dr. and Mrs. J.C. “Why Can’t We Love Them Both, Chapter 29, Rape, Pregnant from rape? Why not abort her?” [Online] 19 May 2007.
http://www.abortionfacts.com/online_books/love_them_both/why_cant_we_love_them_both_29.asp>.

Willke, Dr. and Mrs. J.C. “Why Can’t We Love Them Both, Chapter 34, Adoption, Adoption Not Abortion.” [Online] 19 May 2007. .

Whatever is True

2009-01-27T23:04:00.004-06:00

As some of you may know, I have been pretty sick the last couple days or so. Today I was feeling pretty low in my spirits. I guess just feeling pretty defeated and frustrated about a few things in my life right now. I was journaling about it and after I was through I decided to take the advice of the Apostle Paul and do what Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." I needed to dwell on things that are true and get my mind off of things that are bothering me that really are inconsequential anyway. I decided to play some Scripture songs and just focus on the words and make them my meditation. I haven't written any new songs for a couple weeks so I thought I'd try and write another one. I'd been skirting this subject because it causes a lot of controversy and division. But it is a truth proclaimed in Scripture that gives me hope. Because my salvation never was and never will be dependent upon me. These are the words that I penned tonight that have been on my heart and the unspoken prayers that I continually offer unto the LORD during times of difficulty and discouragement. They offer me a glimmer of hope that tomorrow will be a better day and that I will remain in the Father's hand, ALWAYS. My prayer is that you too would be encouraged even as I was encouraged this evening.

Divine Election
(Ephesians 2)

It only takes a glimmer of who I was to shine through
For me to remember that Your election was true
Set apart, sealed and purchased
Christ, when I look at what I am apart from Your grace
It is only a wonder to me
That I wake up loving You more today then yesterday

If it had been up to me
Dead in trespasses and sins
To believe upon You - whom I hated with my actions
I never would have, I couldn’t have believed…
Only GOD can raise the dead

LORD You breathed new life into me
Made me a new creation, Gave me a new nature
It is from this nature that I then cried out, ‘Abba Father!’
And as Your Word says, Every work You start, You will also finish
I place my confidence that You will sanctify me
That You will keep me from wandering away

For if my hope was in me to simply stay the course
We all know, what would be my impending doom
I cannot keep myself in the grace of Christ
I cannot complete a work that You have begun
I cannot add or take away from what You do for Your Name

Does this hold me guiltless when I sin?
Perish the thought! Perish the thought!
How this grace ought to bind my heart!
To endeavor to serve and please this One -
This One who died for me
This One who has saved, is saving, and will save me
----

Blessings in Yeshua,
Alison

The Winds of Change Have Blown Once Again

2009-01-08T20:49:00.003-06:00

Hello all. I have been neglecting my blog lately. Something I am hoping to remedy in the upcoming weeks. You are probably wondering about the title of this blog entry. Patience little grasshopper, I was just getting to that. Haha...I am a dork. Today I've decided two things. First, I decided to no longer be a chemistry major. Second, I decided to drop my interim course: trigonometry; and instead to take it in the upcoming semester. My reasons for no longer being a chemistry major: taking calculus III at this point in the game seems almost futile, I don't really need nor would I use my degree, and if my main reason for being a chem major was to prove to myself that I could get through pharmacy school - well, that's just a silly reason to take a bunch of classes that don't at all apply to what I want to do with the rest of my life. The pre-requisites are designed to get you ready, I don't need to go on a marathon of my own to get there. You see, since I'm a social work major turned pre-pharmacy major (which actually isn't really a major by the way)...I have completed all the social sciences and electives, so all I have left are the more difficult science courses - you know, the one's with labs that they don't recommend taking more than 2 per semester? Well, I'm taking 3 a semester until I'm finished. Am I crazy? Some would argue that I am, perhaps just determined. :)

I plan to go to the math department tomorrow to talk with them about possibly putting me in one of the already full trig courses for this spring. Pray that YAH would be gracious. Since I will not be continuing with interim, I will have a whole lot of time off in which I am hoping to make as profitable for my soul as possible. I do have a giant book on systematic theology that I've been meaning to finish...and many a blog entries to write. There have been a lot of different topics I've been meaning to look into in the Scripture. I might even make a trip to Eau Claire and visit a dear friend of mine. By the way, if anyone recommends that you take a 4 month math course in 3 weeks, this is me highly recommending that you do not do so. It is not a good idea, don't try it. I guess if you're a math whiz and actually had trig in high school you'd be fine...but for those of you that didn't...I don't recommend it. ;)

Well, I'm off to go find something edifying and something other than my math book to read for a while. May the LORD bless and keep you. Here are some verses very dear to my heart that I have been taking great comfort in lately. It reminds me Whom I belong to and Who directs my path, no matter how round about it might seem sometimes. The sovereignty of YAH, it's a beautiful thing.

Taken from John 10:
"14 I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. 15 As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd. 17 Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. 18 No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father. 19 There was a division therefore again among the Jews for these sayings. 20 And many of them said, He hath a devil, and is mad; why hear ye him? 21 Others said, These are not the words of him that hath a devil. Can a devil open the eyes of the blind? 22 And it was at Jerusalem the feast of the dedication, and it was winter. 23 And Jesus walked in the temple in Solomon's porch. 24 Then came the Jews round about him, and said unto him, How long dost thou make us to doubt? If thou be the Christ, tell us plainly. 25 Jesus answered them, I told you, and ye believed not: the works that I do in my Father's name, they bear witness of me. 26 But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as I said unto you. 27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. 30 I and my Father are one."

-Alison

The Don't Song

2009-01-02T23:38:00.003-06:00

Recently a friend of mine posted this song on his facebook. While the video is super corny - yet hilarious, I whole-heartedly agree with their message. Go ahead, give it a listen. :)

Soli Deo Gloria

2008-12-28T01:00:00.002-06:00

I came across this video on youtube tonight. It was encouraging and exhorting to me. I hope you find it to be the same. May all we do bring glory to Christ.

It Is Finished

2008-12-24T23:16:00.008-06:00

...my album that is. My good friend Mike Spotts has graciously posted my album online for your downloading pleasure, click here (right click on the file and select "save as" to download). I also wanted to say a special thank you to Erin Alderson for allowing me to use your recording equipment and for your encouragment, both without this album would not have come to fruition; as well as to Mike Spotts for doing some of the technical work after the album was recorded (including making some of the album art), and for making it available online. And also a big thank you to all of you who have bathed this project in your prayers, YAH was very gracious. Have a happy Hanukkah everyone, as well as remembering the birth of Yeshua, even though He was born in the spring time.

Shalom in Yeshua,
Alison

Christ Our Life

2008-12-08T20:57:00.005-06:00

'Christ Our Life' is the name of one of my favorite 'bands' probably in my whole life (I put the word band in quotes because from my understanding they are a worship team for a Bible study, not actually a band). Why you ask? Because they mainly put Scripture to song and do it in a talented fashion that is pleasing to my ears. Well, tonight I googled them and found the website that has all of their music downloadable for free. Their music has always been free, but I thought it was only available on sermonindex.net. But oh, what a pleasant surprise when I found this site!!! :) Under my links section where it says "Free Godly Music" and "Christ Our Life" is listed, the newly found site is now what you will be directed to. I strongly encourage you to go visit their site, download their music and be encouraged just as I and many many others have been.

YAH bless you,
Alison

P.S. It is finals week for me, so I would be very appreciative of your prayers for GOD's grace to be generously bestowed upon me at this time. More articles that have yet to be penned...err...typed...will be coming soon over the break.

The Sandbox Days

2008-11-30T22:21:00.002-06:00

The other night I was wishing for the days when all I had to worry about was getting my chores done on time and then spending the whole day in the park and in the neighborhood with my best friend. Days I am fondly referring to in this blog as "the sandbox days". Life gets more complicated as you get older. Relationships with other people get more complicated. Life decisions get more complicated. Complicated. But you know, it's ok. Complications are what make life interesting. If my life always worked out to be circumstantially without difficulty, I would be an extremely shallow and naive person. The LORD has brought many hardships in my life over the years. Many painful times. But the LORD's grace has brought me through it all and has built in me character and a trust in Him that is unwavering. The other night while spending time in prayer with the LORD about some significant things in my life, I penned the lyrics to hymn. I wanted to share it with you all. I pray that you would be encouraged with me that the Sovereign LORD reigns and directs our steps.

Sovereign GOD

GOD You are Sovereign
When the tempests blow
And when life is uncertain
You reign, You reign

You know my fears
You know my heart
Circumstances unknown
Yet You know the paths
That I will tread
And what lies around the bend

I cannot see beyond today
But You see my life
What You have planned
LORD let it be

You reign LORD Christ
You reign over all things
You reign over my heart
My thoughts and fears
You will still reign
Till my last breath took
You will always be
The Sovereign King

Let me take hope
Let me take comfort
That You reign
Over all things
Now and forever
You are and always will be
My Sovereign, gracious King

-Alison

So Much Bestowed

2008-11-25T13:59:00.001-06:00

Today I find myself at the public library. My landlord is supposed to come today and do something with our radiators and put plastic on the windows for the winter. I've never had plastic on my windows over the winter, so this shall be a new experience for me. That is not the point of my story, but rather my time at the library.

It's about 1:45 in the afternoon. The bus station is located right across the street from the library and not too far from my apartment, about half a block or so. I made my way over here with the intention of studying for biology and trying to catch up on a few things for school. I went upstairs to the reference floor where there are small cubicles to sit and study in. We are now experiencing cold weather here, although today is a sunny day and the weather is not too bad. When I came upstairs I found what I'd forgotten happens in the winter time especially at the library. There are a lot of homeless people who come here and spend the majority of their days here at the library to get out of the cold. There is a gentleman sleeping with his head on the desk near me. I am so humbled when I think of how much that the LORD has bestowed upon me, and I'm not even talking about physical blessings. The LORD has graciously bestowed so much upon me and I am not deserving of anything but His righteous wrath that my sin has earned me. What a gracious GOD who before time began set me apart for His sake, sealed me and purchased me to be His bride. Then saved me and brought me out of an mirey pit, set my feet upon a rock and put a new song within my heart, a hymn of praise unto our GOD. He is cleansing and sanctifying me for His glory and His fame. Such an honor has been bestowed, one that I am humbled to receive. Christ, thank You for the reminder that the things seen shall one day pass away and that soon, for life is but a vapor, I shall see Thy face and know You as I am known. For now we see in a glass dimly, but then, face to face. Enable me by Thy grace to persevere unto the day that I pass on into glory for Your sake my GOD and King.

A word from John Piper

2008-11-18T17:38:00.001-06:00

May we be those men and women.

Who Knows?

2008-11-06T23:43:00.007-06:00

I'm thinking about putting together a Christmas/Hanukkah album this year. I've thought about doing one for a while now and I am praying if GOD is so willing that it would come to pass. Of course I would offer it to all free of charge. Please keep this possible album in your prayers. My main goal is to use the abilities GOD has given me to give Him glory and edify His people. I've written several songs and many are yet in my heart that have yet to be penned. However I lack one talent; being able to write music to go with them. I have yet to meet anyone that I know well, that is willing to write the music for them. If you could also pray that either I'd learn to write music or meet someone who'd be willing to sit down with me and help me write them, that'd be great. If the LORD wants them to remain as songs without music so be it; whatever will bring Him most glory that is what I truly desire.

Shalom,
Alison